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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26215855">You, Betty and I</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/nalialu/pseuds/nalialu'>nalialu</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>BLACKPINK (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Chaelisa - Freeform, Drama &amp; Romance, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Musicians, Slow Burn, blackpink - Freeform</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 09:21:04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>30,518</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26215855</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/nalialu/pseuds/nalialu</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Rosé was willing to sneak out of her house at night to pursue her dream of being a musician without knowing that right at the back door of one of those cheap bars she would finally find someone who would listen to her.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jennie Kim/Kim Jisoo, Lalisa Manoban | Lisa/Park Chaeyoung | Rosé</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>89</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>You, Betty and I</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A shock of electricity went through her entire body as she stood on the stage. It was a sensation that she never thought she would be able to get used to, her legs suddenly felt weak, her stomach turned into a strange mixture of adrenaline and nervousness. Her hands, for some reason that Chaeyoung couldn't understand, were always ready to play that instrument, letting flow everything that she had been holding on to for years. All those feelings retained from an almost impossible dream simply turn into a melody when the girl's lips finally open to start performing and her slender fingers play so delicately that it feels as if for a moment the whole world could hear her. </p><p>She had prepared herself extremely well for this day, she had skipped some classes to rehearse and other nights she would go to sleep in the middle of the night until she was completely sure that she had made some progress, no matter how small. She couldn't stop, she couldn't give up if she was really going to become that thing she wanted as a child, when she used to look at the silver moon to make her wish.</p><p>Her voice started to echo throughout the club, people fell silent once she started playing that guitar she had been carrying for almost eight years. The lights almost dazzled her but she didn't care because all she needed to sing this song she had written since last winter was her voice, her guitar and someone to listen to her.</p><p>When the applause finally reached her ears and her steps off the stage felt heavier and heavier, Chaeyoung was finally able to process everything that had happened. Her stomach started to turn again, her legs became weaker than before and her hands were no longer able to hold her guitar because all that pressure on her chest finally fell as if it were a domino effect.</p><p>She was happy, in fact, it was one of the best days of her life but it was so good that all her body could do was respond in the least rational way. Chaeyoung had to run to the back door of the club, her guitar on her right shoulder and some sheets in her hand. She got to the door and when she opened it, she couldn't do anything but let her body take charge of itself. That's how after her first performance at one of many clubs in Seoul, Chaeyoung threw up all her excitement out of her mouth, literally. </p><p>"Are you okay?" A voice was heard somewhere on her left.</p><p>"What do you think?" Chaeyoung didn't take the time to look at whoever spoke to her, as she was too busy trying not to vomit the only thing left in her stomach.</p><p>"Well, let me change the question. Do you need help?"</p><p>"Just... take this." Although she didn't trust anyone to take her personal belongings, this time she had to make an exception and carefully give her most precious treasure to a complete stranger.</p><p>"Oh, you play the guitar?"</p><p>"Do you really have to ask dumb questions right now?"</p><p>There was only silence for the next five minutes, and somehow Chaeyoung didn't mind having to share those minutes of gagging and bitter mouth taste with that stranger who only remained silent at her request. Once her stomach finally decided it was enough, the next thing she felt was a wave of embarrassment warming her cheeks up to her ears. She never meant to sound rude or tough, but her head was really too busy to deal with it.</p><p>"I think I feel better now," she announced, without even looking at the stranger's face as the shame and Chaeyoung did not make a good team together.</p><p>"Are you sure?" The girl's eyes were on her, Chaeyoung could feel it so she gathered the courage to look at her too and it wasn't until their eyes collided that Chaeyoung couldn't help but look away immediately.</p><p>"I-I need to go, I'm sorry," she said seconds before taking the first steps, walking in the opposite direction from the club where a few minutes ago she had felt herself alive after a long time.</p><p>"Are you gonna leave me your guitar?" </p><p><em>Goddamn it, </em>Chaeyoung thought when she stopped dead, she had never forgotten her guitar before but it seemed that tonight her body was acting on its own. "Can you please give it back to me?" Chaeyoung said once she turned around, taking the opportunity to look at that girl's face one more time.</p><p>"Of course I can." The girl responded by walking a couple of steps, staying in front of Chaeyoung but then stopping. "Although I'd be more inspired to give it to you if you'd accept my invitation to get some food."</p><p>This wasn't expected at all, Chaeyoung just had a tough day, and although playing in front of many people a song that meant so much to her was the best thing that could have happened to her for a long time, she wasn't sure if she really wanted to spend more time with a complete stranger, she didn't even know if it was safe but still something made her think about it twice.</p><p>"Why would I do that? The guitar is mine!" No, this wasn't Park Chaeyoung, she wasn't rude or selfish but there was something in that black-haired girl's eyes that made her feel defensive, as if she knew that the girl only needed one more look to convince her of whatever was on her mind.</p><p>"Look, I'm not a doctor by any means but I see you're very pale and you just puked your guts out, you really don't want to go for a burger and soda?"</p><p>This was totally unfair, anyone who knew Chaeyoung was aware of how much she loved hamburgers (food in general) and the fact that this particular girl wanted to invite her to one only made it even more difficult for her to say a simple and short "no". With a face on and a renegade tone of voice, she accepted but it wasn't until she finally had her most precious treasure in her hands that she deigned to get into that old car.</p><p>It was a little surprise that when she sat in the passenger seat, she noticed a scent of flowers and for a moment wondered if the girl often traveled with a car air freshener or simply that scent was on her. The answer didn't matter much now because Chaeyoung loved flowers anyway.</p><p>"So... do you come here often?"</p><p>"Not really." Both girls sat in a booth, facing each other, and the almost white light of the restaurant only made Chaeyoung notice the characteristic bright in the girl's eyes. "In fact, I'd never been here before but I'd always wanted to. Now, I have a question."</p><p>"For me?"</p><p>"Actually there are two questions, the first one is why did you leave the club like that? I mean, I've seen a <em>loooooot</em> of things in that club but never a girl leaving like she was going to pass out at any moment. And the second one would be, are you a singer or something? I don't think you're carrying that guitar around as an accessory."</p><p>This was a little risky for someone like Chaeyoung, who wasn't supposed to reveal to anyone that she was there, not even her best friend, why would she explain to a stranger? Just because she had nice eyes didn't mean she would fall for it so easily, right? Still, after taking a deep breath, she looked back at the girl.</p><p>"I'm not a singer, at least not yet, but I'd like to be. I've always wanted to play in different places in Seoul, making myself known," That was a truth, but it was a lie in her real life. In the life of the girl who had to go into the basement of the college to rehearse her song, the one who had to hide the guitar under her bed every night before sleep. "This was my first performance actually, and for some reason my body decided to stop working properly. But now it's my turn, what were you doing there?"</p><p>"Wait, are you telling me that the one who was singing before you stepped out of that door was you?" It was inevitable, at least for Chaeyoung, not to notice how the girl's eyes suddenly lit up and a smile of excitement was put on her pink lips. Still, she only received a nod from the blonde girl. "I'm really impressed, you sing really well. That's why I usually go to different clubs or music bars since I came here, I like good music, you know."</p><p>Of course she knew, Chaeyoung more than anyone else knew how exciting it was to listen to live music, to explore the feelings that singers leave on stage once they get off. Chaeyoung knew what it was like to be down there, dreaming of once being the one on stage, leaving everything she could never say in just a few tunes.</p><p>The burgers came but the questions didn't stop there, as if somehow they had agreed to ask one question per turn, or per bite. Only then did she realize how hungry she was and how grateful she was to the girl for somehow making her get there. It was a good ending to the night, the moonlight was peeping out of the restaurant window and the conversation was getting deeper and warmer until the girl asked for her name and Chaeyoung panicked. There was no way she could say her real name, she couldn't risk it because if her parents found out that their beloved daughter was sneaking out every night to do what she loved most, it would be the end of her. Of her and Betty, her guitar.</p><p>"Rosé," she lied.</p><p>"Okay, that doesn't sound very Korean, but I won't ask any more questions. Your turn."</p><p>"I think it's pretty obvious that I want to know your name too."</p><p>"Lalisa Manoban, nice to meet you," There, right under that now-annoying white light, Chaeyoung got lost for a few seconds in that silly smile of the one she had just learned her name. "But you can call me Lisa." </p><p>Of course she had to have a cool name, as cool as that silly smile and those bright eyes. Maybe this was the best thing, not telling her anything relevant about her because if Chaeyoung wanted to keep doing what she did today, she had to take the necessary cautions. Among those cautions was not to tell anyone who she was, or her name, much less who her family was, because everything had to follow its natural path, where Chaeyoung would be Chaeyoung until the night came and Rosé wanted to play some music.</p><p>After a couple more questions, both girls had finished their burger and Chaeyoung knew it was time to go home. It was time to enter once again into that reality she had so longed to escape, a reality in which she would never have met this girl.</p><p>"I'll see you later?" The black-haired girl asked a few steps behind Chaeyoung, in the parking lot of that restaurant not too far from downtown.</p><p>"I'll be famous someday so I'm pretty damn sure you will."</p><p>Night fell and Chaeyoung, as usual, went to the balcony of her room, the view had always been wonderful because from there Chaeyoung could see the city, the colorful lights and in the distance the mountains on the outskirts of the city next to that high tower in the background. It felt good to be there, in that place that somehow was her only refuge inside her own house. Something made it charming for her, she loved the view, she loved to feel the breeze through her long blonde hair but what was the point of feeling that way if at the end of the day she was just a pawn of what everyone wanted her to be except herself?</p><p>"Hello?"</p><p>"Chaeng!" A very familiar voice was heard on the other end of the phone line. "It turns out that by talking to my staff and making some changes to my schedule, I have tomorrow off! Do you know what that means?"</p><p>"Girls' night?"</p><p>"Girls' night!"</p><p>This was good, it was exactly what Chaeyoung needed. Going out with her best friend and probably Jisoo and Irene, plus probably going to that restaurant that Jennie loved and ending the night sleeping in company sounded like a perfect plan. So Chaeyoung cut the call, closed the balcony doors and started counting sheep until her eyes finally closed dreaming of those lights that a few hours ago dazzled her, the sounds of her guitar accompanied by her voice, with the applause she could still hear in her ears and the smile of that girl Lisa.</p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>"So I told him to please stop acting like a damn creep and they ended up firing him from all the agencies, I really hate those men who become photographers just to see young girls... I'm serious when I say I want them to go to hell," Jennie said as she stuffed a shrimp in her mouth. </p><p>"I think that's everywhere baby, the same thing happens in acting, right Irene? There are always nasty old men who want to record explicit scenes like... they don't have a wife in the house? They don't have children to feed?" Jisoo exclaimed as she took a sip of the white wine they bought. "The only good thing is that I know that as soon as I get out of there, I'll see you." The actress looked at the model with a silly smile that Irene couldn't help but make a disgusted face.</p><p>"Okay, this is too gay for my taste, so tell me Chaeyoung, how is college?"</p><p>"You know, just homework and exams, nothing new." It was true, this was college for Chaeyoung, boring and graceless while she watched her friends fulfilling all those dreams they shared together as kids. She never felt jealous or anything, she just felt happy about them but not satisfied with herself.</p><p>"That's because you didn't want to become an idol, you had all the potential!"</p><p>"I never wanted to be an idol, I want to be a musician."</p><p>"It's the same thing. Look, I have friends in some agencies who can help you get an audition, all you need is that old guitar of yours and you'll pass on the first try," Irene insisted along with the other two girls who looked at her with hopeful eyes. It was encouraging to see that somehow her friends believed her capable of anything, even more than Chaeyoung believed about herself, but that wasn't what she wanted, not what the real her had been waiting for.</p><p>"I don't want to be tied down to companies, much less have to depend on others for my music, I just... I just want to be free."</p><p>Maybe those words had thousands of connotations that none at that table, maybe not even in the whole restaurant, could understand. Because even though Chaeyoung had never given up on her dream, everyone around her believed that she had, everyone believed that Chaeyoung would be nothing more and nothing less than just another lawyer in Seoul. What if they found out that she had already taken the first steps in her career? What if they found out that all those standards they lived by didn't mean anything to her? What if they really got to know her?</p><p>"Rosé? It's you?" Everyone at the table fell silent, and Chaeyoung was left cold right there, frozen as if she were at 37 degrees on the verge of hypothermia. Even though her legs insisted on not moving, the frown on her friends' faces and the confused look Jennie gave her was enough to make her get up from the table as fast as she could.</p><p>"I think you're mistaken."</p><p>"What are you talking about? You are..." With one hand cupping the black-haired girl's mouth, Chaeyoung grabbed her with the other hand by the wrist and led her away from the table, away from her friends and straight to the washroom area of the restaurant.</p><p>"What are you doing here?" Chaeyoung asked on impulse, not even noticing how close the girl was.</p><p>"The restaurant isn't yours first of all, and second I came to drop off some orders from my dad's business. Now, why are you here?"</p><p>"I was... I..." Immediately, Chaeyoung released the girl from her wrist, and stepped away at a safe and appropriate distance. "I'm sorry, it's just... I'm with my friends and I..."</p><p>"Can't you have other friends or...?"</p><p>"No, no. It's more complicated than that." There was no way to explain to Lisa everything that was really going on, and to be honest it wasn't her fault either, so it was best not to involve her in this.</p><p>"I knew I was going to see you, but I never thought I'd see you so soon," Lisa said, putting on another silly smile and Chaeyoung couldn't help but blush a little.</p><p>"Well, it's a shame I have to go now... goodbye Lisa!" she turned around, she was sure this conversation would lead to nothing good and that her friends would probably still be more confused than before, and to prevent any of them from coming looking for her the best thing to do was to leave.</p><p>"Wait, are you really gonna leave again just like that?"</p><p>"Saturday at the KISS U club at 8 p.m.," that was all she said before she went on, without even turning around or looking at Lisa because this really wasn't what she was supposed to do according to the millions of situations her brain warned her about once she sat at that table with her friends.</p><p>As lucky as her horoscope said she was going to be, it didn't seem to be real at all since, in spite of trying to avoid the subject, it was impossible when the three girls looked at her as if they wanted to read her mind all of a sudden. Chaeyoung tried, she really did her best not to have to answer, but her best friend and the two actresses seemed determined to make her talk.</p><p>"Who is she?"</p><p>"Where do you know her from?"</p><p>"Is she single?"</p><p>There was the bombardment of questions that Chaeyoung, unfortunately, had no answers to. She didn't really know who Lisa was because knowing her name didn't tell her anything about her, nor in a million years did Chaeyoung plan to tell them where she had met her because that would reveal her <em>secret</em> and the third question was simply an unknown fact that Chaeyoung also wondered about.</p><p>"She's cute, you should totally hit on her," said Jennie, who had her hand held in her girlfriend's.</p><p>"Or you can introduce her to me, girls with black hair above their shoulders are totally my type," now said Irene, who all three girls knew was telling the truth.</p><p>"She's just someone I know, so don't make a big deal out of it," responded Chaeyoung, who was somewhat excited (though she wouldn't admit it) to see that someone again.</p><p>After deciding by means of playing rock, paper and scissors where they would sleep, the four girls headed in Jennie's Mustang to Chaeyoung's house. It had been a long time since they had done this, the four girls in their 20s at a girls' sleepover.</p><p>It felt good, it felt like going back to those times in school where it was just Irene as their role model, Jennie, Jisoo and the younger Chaeyoung. It was a beautiful time, where they were all together on that ship of aimless adolescence and destiny but then, Irene was the first one to leave school and in less than a year she became a star in the acting industry, and when Jisoo left it didn't last long as Irene recommended her and she was ready to act in her first drama. In the end, it was just Jennie and Chaeyoung until the first one left school and with influences from the Kim's she came to the modeling world, with just one photoshoot the world knew her name and by herself she started to get where she was now, being one of the most popular and influential models in all of Seoul. Where was Chaeyoung? She came out of high school late, fought for almost a year with her family because she wanted to be a musician, she wanted to continue her guitar lessons and she didn't want to be an idol or a lawyer as her parents suggested. </p><p>There was no way to convince them or explain to them that she wanted to be herself, that she wanted to follow in her own footsteps and create her own fate. Her only option was to accept that stupid deal from her dad where he would still let her take her guitar lessons if she studied to be a lawyer, just like him.</p><p>When the clock struck midnight, Jisoo and Irene were already asleep, while Jennie and Chaeyoung stayed until the end of the credits for that horror movie Jisoo insisted on watching, which no one else agreed to, but as always Jennie sided with her girlfriend and ended up convincing the others. The two girls had their silk pajamas on, had brushed their teeth and were ready to join the other two sleepers but suddenly, Jennie stopped and looked at Chaeyoung to say: "Is that your guitar?"</p><p>"Yeah, I use it occasionally," Chaeyoung lied, a little impressed by the way Jennie smiled at the response.</p><p>"Do you want to play it for me?"</p><p>There were a few seconds of hesitation, because Chaeyoung used to play it for others but never for her best friend, never for her sister, much less her parents. "Of course."</p><p>With both hands, Chaeyoung took the guitar and walked a few steps to the balcony, her favorite place to let her thoughts flow.  Jennie joined her right away, both of them looking at those lights that Chaeyoung used to look at by herself.</p><p>"Ready?" At the question, Jennie nodded and Chaeyoung began playing the guitar accompanied by a soft singing of her voice.</p><p>No one knew it but her, no one had the faintest idea, not even her best friend who was supposed to know everything about her. No one was aware that the little piece Chaeyoung sang that night was one of the many songs she was working on and that Jennie's indirect opinion was just what she needed to finish it. It was a soft melody, much more than the ones she sang in that club. This one had a more hidden meaning, it was one of those songs that you usually hear when you travel on a bus at night, looking out the window while the music takes you somewhere else where you wanted to be.</p><p>"I love it," Jennie mumbled.</p><p>"You do?" </p><p>"Always, I didn't realize how much I missed you singing to me, Chaeng," the girl with the long brown hair put on one of those smiles that conveyed nothing but pure calm. "I hope one day you decide to go back to music, that's your thing."</p><p>Both girls held hands as if somehow they could understand each other right there, walked to the big bed cushioned of the musician, and met the other two hugging in their sleep. Chaeyoung lay down and sighed as if she needed to get something off her chest.</p><p>"You know you can tell me anything, right?" Jennie whispered, both next to each other in bed.</p><p>"I know," the blonde said and gave a little smile.</p><p>The words ended there but there was still an atmosphere that both knew something was going on but Chaeyoung decided to close her eyes and try to sleep.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>The next day, Chaeyoung skipped "Theory of State" classes because she locked herself in the basement of the college to rehearse the song she would be playing this Saturday and without realizing it, she had already missed half of the lesson.</p><p>The day after that, Chaeyoung slept until 3 a.m. watching instructional videos on how to get to a higher pitch without damaging your vocals.</p><p>The other day, Chaeyoung also slept late studying for that "History of Law" exam she was so afraid to take because the professor was too strict and she was too busy thinking about lyrics to pay any attention.</p><p>Another day came, and it was another day where Chaeyoung went to a photo session accompanying Jennie, after that they ate Bibimbap while watching one of those dramas that Jisoo recommended where one of her friends was acting, when Chaeyoung arrived home she was too tired to rehearse.</p><p>And when Chaeyoung woke up the next day it was finally Saturday, a strange sensation ran through her body as if it knew that she had been unconsciously waiting so long for today, to perfomance her music to the world and to see that girl.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>The routine was already fully elaborated, Chaeyoung knew perfectly what she had to do and how to get out of her house without being noticed. It wasn't that difficult, as her parents used to be very busy people, and the lack of parenting was a perfect result for her to walk out the back door of the house, which no one usually opened after 6 p.m. other than the housekeeper. So she did, tiptoeing to the door with her guitar on her shoulder inside a black case her father had given her when Chaeyoung entered her guitar lessons years ago.</p><p>"Are you going out, Miss Park?"<em> Shit, </em>Chaeyoung thought as she paused when she heard the housekeeper's voice.</p><p>"No, yeah, well... maybe," She didn't have the slightest idea what to say or what to do, she knew that one day this would happen but she preferred to take a chance and stick to the consequences. "I have to go and leave some stuff to... Jennie, yeah, so I'll be back soon, don't you worry, Mrs. Chang."</p><p>"All right, Miss Park, please be careful," said the lady who then made her way to the kitchen and Chaeyoung released the air from her lungs that she had been holding since she had come down the stairs to her room.</p><p>She was a genius, and she never said so to herself, but the best idea she could have had was to wear that big coat that didn't let anyone see her outfit, otherwise Mrs. Chang probably wouldn't have believed that silly lie. Who the hell would go to her best friend in a black Saint Laurent dress? </p><p>The street lights and the smell of rain accompanied her to the club where she was to perform in less than an hour. The first thing she had to do was sign in and confirm her attendance, after that she simply waited in a small room until she was called. Getting there, as silly as it sounded, had been a bit difficult as no one recognized her at first to let her play live in one of their bars or clubs but after proving to the staff of what she was made of, they had decided to list her as one of that club's musicians. She wasn't very well known, and actually most people went to see some of the other singers, but she still liked to know that somehow there was always someone who seemed to enjoy her music, more than that to connect with it.</p><p>"Before Baekhyun shows up today, we have one of our singers who has only been around a short while but has a lot to contribute to the music, Rosé please turn on the stage!" A staff member said into the microphone, and Chaeyoung could feel her legs slowly getting weaker and her throat was dry.</p><p>When was she going to get used to this? It was a feeling of excitement that wanted to break her before she could even go on stage. Still, dragging her feet, Chaeyoung came out on stage with her guitar and sat in the chair that was there for her in the middle of the stage, with the sight of many people who loved music as much as she did.</p><p>"I-I did this song a couple of months ago and," she stopped for a second when her eyes noticed that girl with that look that Chaeyoung was starting to get to know. She couldn't help but smile a little and continued, "A few days ago my best friend said she loved it, even though she didn't know it was a song of mine and I... I think it's worth playing today. Thank you all for listening to me!"</p><p>If she had to explain it in one way, she would say that it is similar to that feeling in your stomach when a roller coaster is about to start, that feeling of anxiety because you want it to start but at the same time you are afraid, you are afraid but it is a beautiful fear. That's what she felt that night, and all the past and probably all the future ones. She loved this feeling because it meant that she loved being there, she loved doing this and that pride that wanted to come out of her chest every time she was called by Rosé was more precious than all those times she was called by Chaeyoung but it was empty and meaningless. It was like that everything around her lately except for this. Except for being here singing, for people listening to her, for her letting out everything that was in her mind in front of strangers, for singing in front of that specific stranger. This was the only thing that made sense in her life now.</p><p>The applause came like a wave and Chaeyoung smiled, for herself or for all of them, it really didn't matter because apparently Jennie wasn't the only one who loved her song, and that was enough to smile on a night like this. Stepping off the stage with her legs a little weak, Chaeyoung sighed. In spite of loving all this, it was inevitable not to feel exhausted. Once she was strong enough to do so, she went out the back door to get the air her lungs were asking for.</p><p>"You're not going to throw up on my boots today, right?" There was this voice, apparently she noticed that going out the back door after such an overwhelming moment was Chaeyoung's thing.</p><p>"You're here."</p><p>"You told me to come, didn't you?" The musician couldn't help but check up on the girl who had been in her thoughts lately even though she didn't want to admit it. She looked brilliant, her hair above her shoulders so dark but so glossy and a top attached to her body that only reflected the pretty slim waist she had and those knee-high black boots that matched her golden skirt. She looked so pretty, and Chaeyoung didn't want to stop looking at her.</p><p>"I know it's just... I don't even know why I asked you to come but I'm really glad you're here."</p><p>"Oh, who would have thought the mystery girl was so sappy," Lisa teased but didn't seem at all bothered by the blonde's words. "Are we going to look at each other's faces all night or are you going to get in my car and let me take you somewhere cool?"</p><p>Chaeyoung thought if that girl was always so direct as she held her guitar case tighter in her hands. This was perhaps a bit of a difficult decision because even though the answer was on the tip of her tongue, there were always all those consequences in her head. What if her parents found out? What if Lisa could not be trusted? Besides, was it a good idea to get so close to someone who knew her as Rosé and not as Chaeyoung? The questions were many but only one answer came from her mouth.</p><p>"Okay."</p><p>The clock had struck ten a few minutes ago and Chaeyoung was too busy noticing how the girl's eyes were glowing even more in the presence of the city lights in front of them. They had gone to a lookout point near a cliff, it was a quiet place and Chaeyoung liked it because it was similar to the view from her balcony but much more striking and colorful. Lisa had suggested that they should sit on the hood of her car, since the view was too beautiful for them to stay inside. And she was right, the view was beautiful and the air simply made the place better as well as the company by her side.</p><p>"You really love to sing, don't you?"</p><p>"It's the only thing that keeps me sane right now," Chaeyoung responded with her gaze now on those yellow-lighted streets.</p><p>"To be honest, you look like you're out of a movie, you know? Like that girl in every movie who walks around with her guitar everywhere, wears plaid shirts and has an amazing voice but is too shy to show it." Well, that wasn't that far off from what Chaeyoung once was, or maybe was still.</p><p>"For your information, I don't wear plaid shirts... that often."</p><p>"That doesn't change the fact that you probably carry that guitar everywhere with you," Lisa guessed, and Chaeyoung giggled because damn, Lisa really looked like she could read her. </p><p>"Good point, but what about you? Because even though I'm the one you call mysterious, I don't really know anything about you."</p><p>"Well, I think you asked me in that restaurant the other night about my dreams and I kind of told you I wanted to study because that's true, but what I didn't tell you is that I work in my dad's restaurant and so I haven't been able to study yet, and probably never," If Chaeyoung paid close attention, she could tell that Lisa's voice was more serious and maybe a little more nostalgic. </p><p>"But there are a lot of scholarships, you know? If you let me, I can..."</p><p>"I know," Lisa suddenly cut her off. "But I don't really want to leave my dad alone in this. I'm not from here, I guess you already know that," Lisa's accent had always caught her interest, as well as the shape of her eyes and that was because clearly Lisa wasn't from here and Chaeyoung was wondering where she came from and the reason why she was here now, yet it wasn't time for that now.</p><p>"What would you like to study?" Hoping she wasn't crossing the line, Chaeyoung asked.</p><p>"I don't know really, I'd like something like... dance, you know? Or maybe something with languages, I'm really good at that," the girl admitted with that silly smile on her lips that Chaeyoung was already getting used to looking at. </p><p>"Well, the best thing is to study what you want, not just what you're good at, and I'm telling you this from my own experience. When I get into my law career I-" Chaeyong stopped suddenly, her eyes widened a little when she realized she wasn't supposed to say that.</p><p>How was she supposed to pass up what she had just said if Lisa kept looking at her as if she expected her to say something? In that moment, Chaeyoung just wanted to run away from there because, well, it was her fault and her big mouth that couldn't shut up. Lisa was supposed to know nothing about her, about the real... or false, well about Chaeyoung and her personal life because that would just complicate everything she was putting at risk right now.</p><p>"My guitar, I'll... I'll get it and I'll sing something, okay?" The blonde girl said, Lisa's look was nothing more than confusion but as she heard the last few words she seemed to be able to ignore Chaeyoung's abrupt change of topic.</p><p>She walked to the passenger side of the girl's gray car to meet her precious Betty and walked out with it in her hand, ready to sing something impromptu because she didn't really expect to spend her night here with her at this hour. Her nights were usually of returning home in silence, taking a bubble bath to relax the adrenaline that performing left her and finally trying to sleep which many times ended up in writing in her book under the moonlight outside her balcony. But the new and different was good, right? That's what they say in the books and movies and Chaeyoung wanted to believe it so she walked confidently back to where Lisa was, sat down once more where she was before and sang, and Lisa smiled and Chaeyoung continued singing because really new things did feel good, better than an empty street and bubble baths.</p><p>The silence in the car as Lisa drove was comfortable, in fact, it felt like an everyday thing when it was probably what Chaeyoung least thought she would do today, or all week. Her father would kill her if he found out that she had gone to a lookout point far from her home with a stranger and her ninety-something car. At that moment, she didn't want to think about that or anything else but how beautiful the streets looked with those lights that she had seen hours before from that lookout point.</p><p>"You can drop me off here," Chaeyoung suggested because she had already talked too much today to ruin it by letting Lisa see her house, especially since her father was someone a little too well known.</p><p>"Are you sure? This doesn't look like a house and it's almost midnight."</p><p>"I am," she said and then opened the car door, slowly closed it and looked to the window to see Lisa one last time. "Thank you so much for today, Lisa."</p><p>Her steps were slow, as if she really didn't want to leave but knew she had to, because she didn't plan to stay later and Lisa shouldn't drive at this hour. Still, her feet stopped when that voice was heard on one side of her left.</p><p>"So... won't you tell me when I'll see you again?"</p><p>Chaeyoung smiled knowing that Lisa couldn't see her, and that's the way she really wanted it to be. "I told you, you'll hear from me sooner or later."</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>Apparently it was later than sooner because almost a fortnight had passed since that night at the lookout point by the cliff. Chaeyoung had been very busy with her homework and her nights of working on her music without a break, yet she still went out to perform some nights and in all those nights, she had not coincided again with the so-called Lisa. It was the best, right? Involving Lisa in her life was maybe the dumbest thing she could do and the worst thing is that a couple of weeks ago she was willing to do it. She had to be smarter, more conscious and above all, more brave if she was going to continue escaping at night to follow her dreams, if she was going to continue being Rosé.</p><p>"You look pretty grumpy today," said her father, walking through the door of her room.</p><p>"Well, I've been trying to solve this Basic Sociology assignment all afternoon, but apparently my mind doesn't want to help."</p><p>"Maybe if we spend some time together today that can change," This wasn't normal at all, at least not for her dad who had always been too busy for her.</p><p>"Do you think so? Well, I don't think I can anyway," she responded somewhat disinterestedly. "Apparently Irene and her almost-girlfriend broke up and she wants to go out, what do you think?"</p><p>"Oh, well, that'll brighten up that long face of yours," after an attempt to smile, he turned on his handmade shoes and walked out of the room, and perhaps out of Chaeyoung's life.</p><p>She wasn't lying, though. She had spent the afternoon not only studying but also searching her closet for what to wear that night. She had spent the last few months going to bars and clubs so often but it had been a long time since she had actually gone out to drink at one of those. Her only concern now, besides the strange way her father was behaving, was to try not to say anything she would regret the next day. She had never been there or at least not that she remembered, most likely because it looked too fancy and luxurious and Chaeyoung like Rosé would never go to a place like that and Chaeyoung like her would never go out to bars so going to this place had never crossed her mind before.</p><p>"I really don't know what happened, she and I had been fuck-buddies for almost... six months? I really thought we had something special," Irene looked devastated, although for Chaeyoung it didn't make much sense what was coming out of her drunken mouth.</p><p>"I told you," replied Jisoo with her glass of wine in hand. "She's like that... that kind of girl who talks to you once and then forgets you exist. Actually, you should feel lucky, she never lasts that long with anyone."</p><p>"I'm sure she'll come back, no matter how much of a fuck girl she is, you have everything. I mean, who would leave someone with that face?" now said Jennie and Chaeyoung simply looked at the bottle of soju that was on the table.</p><p>"What do you think Chaeyoung?"</p><p>That was a good question, what did Chaeyoung think of all this? Maybe she had never paid enough attention to her feelings or was always too busy with herself to think about someone else. Not that she had never liked anyone, because she clearly remembered her school crush and how her heart broke when Jennie hooked up with her. Also, how to forget... </p><p>"Joy!" Chaeyoung suddenly said, some disbelief in her voice. </p><p>"Huh?" Jennie and Jisoo, as soulmates they are, looked simultaneously at the table in front of them only to find Chaeyoung's ex.</p><p>It had been a long time since she had seen the only person who could be called Chaeyoung's "ex", as she was the only one who had managed to get to something else with her, which was difficult. Her throat suddenly felt dry, and Chaeyoung didn't know if she should say hello or just keep talking to her friends as if the girl she gave her first kiss didn't exist. Before anyone could say anything or even move a muscle, Chaeyoung took the bottle of soju in her hands and drank half of it because she was nervous and according to her dumb brain that would make her feel more relaxed, which didn't happen. </p><p>"Wait!"</p><p>"Chaeng, what the hell are you doing?" Jennie exclaimed as Jisoo took the bottle from her hands, all three girls looked at her in surprise.</p><p>"I... I came here to drink, didn't I?"</p><p>Five minutes passed where the three girls seemed to argue about Chaeyoung's future, and she just looked at Joy from afar, always so pretty and full of red lips but the only thing that provoked her was guilt. Because the fact that it didn't work out with Joy and ended up breaking her heart was no one's fault but Chaeyoung's, and she didn't think she could ever forgive herself. Everything was in chaos at the time, her father wouldn't let her breathe and the only thing that kept her sane were the guitar lessons that took her out of the monotony of her life. Fuck that, she thought because drinking might actually make her a little more brave and well, it felt good to be so.</p><p>"You win," Jennie finally said, destroying the circle of three girls who were planning something that Chaeyoung didn't care much about right now.</p><p>"Does that mean you're going to let me drink whatever I want?"</p><p>"No," Irene clarified. "That means we're going to drink whatever we want."</p><p>First they all had a shot, then the three girls finished half the bottle to "even out" Chaeyoung's drunk state, according to Irene they should have another shot because she missed Seulgi, and then Jennie said they should have another shot because Jisoo was so damn gorgeous, after they kissed in front of Irene and Chaeyoung for almost five minutes, they had another shot. Then another one, Irene brought four more until the lights were spinning around the four girls who were too busy dancing on the floor that they had never dared to go before.</p><p>Everything was music, sweat and laughter. Everything was dancing and screaming, everything was noise and dizziness until the world started spinning and what was once light was turning into darkness because Chaeyoung's head was starting to ache and her legs were about to collapse until she sat on that cold curb outside the bar with her best friends by her side.</p><p>"So we really got screwed, huh?" Jennie said once she and Chaeyoung were left alone as Jisoo and Irene were too busy trying to understand each other telepathically.</p><p>"It was fun," Chaeyoung confessed, her head on Jennie's shoulder because she was really wasted. "Do you think I should look for her?"</p><p>"Huh? You mean Joy?"</p><p>"No, I mean the other girl, the one with the pretty eyes," Chaeyoung seemed to be either too drunk or Jennie too lost because neither seemed to be able to connect with what the other was saying.</p><p>"Wait, you like someone I don't know about?"</p><p>"No, I don't. Don't say that," Indeed, Chaeyoung was quite drunk and her plan to say nothing she'd regret was about to be fucked up. "It's just that it's been almost a month since I've heard from her and you know... I wonder how she's doing."</p><p>"Oh my God, you really like someone! How long has it been since your last relationship?"</p><p>"First of all, stop saying I like her, okay?" The youngest girl narrowed her eyes and only received a roll of the eyes from Jennie. "The only person I went out with was Joy, it was actually weird seeing her here and maybe that contributed to my drinking mood. And before Joy... Oh! My school crush you stole from me."</p><p>"Hey! I didn't steal her from you, you never told me you liked her, how would I know?"</p><p>"Well, you may have a point."</p><p>"Are you really not going to tell me who this girl is that you're talking about or are you just rambling on about all this soju you've drunk?"</p><p>"I think you should go make out with Jisoo because you're getting very annoying," the voice sounded like a drunken Chaeyoung who just wanted to tease Jennie, and this worked to make her smile.</p><p>"I'll go to that but watch out for Irene, okay?" Jennie kissed her on the cheek, and then got up to where her beloved was even drunker than Chaeyoung.</p><p>After a sigh, the blonde approached Irene who was lying on the sidewalk looking at the stars, and Chaeyoung mimicked her because she looked so comfy and really didn't have the head to think about what she should or shouldn't do right now. Irene held her hand suddenly and looked at her and then said: "I miss Seulgi."</p><p>To which Chaeyoung replied, "Well, it seems you're not the only one who misses someone tonight."</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>She had been looking forward to this night, finally she was hired (so to speak, because there was no money involved but promo and that was just what Chaeyoung wanted since she didn't really care much about money) in a new club that opened a few blocks from the university. She had to be extremely careful because it was likely that many college students would want to go to the opening but Chaeyoung always performed either too late or too early since she was never the main event so she hoped that would work in her favor tonight.</p><p>Even so, she lasted a little longer than usual getting ready because she needed extra makeup to try not to look so much like her today. She had never been very good at this, but youtube tutorials plus everything Jennie had taught her was enough to at least look a little less Chaeyoung. The streets were packed with people, the atmosphere was warm and the club was neither so empty nor so full so with her guitar on her shoulder, Chaeyoung walked in. </p><p>Good or bad, Chaeyoung performed almost last and although the crowd was noisy many were too consumed in conversations and laughter that ignored the sound that the strings of her guitar were trying so hard to make. Nerves began to creep up her legs and Chaeyoung felt as if it was that time when she had to run off stage because her stomach was so excited that she almost ended up throwing her guts out, only unlike that night, this one looked more like her stomach was anxious because it seemed as if suddenly no one could hear and maybe Chaeyoung was just wasting her time. Maybe this whole idea of wanting the world to hear her was nonsense and her hands suddenly felt cold. She wanted to run, she wanted to get away from there and when her eyes noticed that girl by the door who was looking straight at her, her feet acted on their own.</p><p>"I... I need to go, thanks for listening or whatever," she said into the microphone before running away from there, not before turning around to see that the girl was also walking out the door.</p><p>She ran out this time to the parking lot where she assumed Lisa had left that old car, if she was lucky. The moonlight was illuminating the parking lot, the lights didn't help much and Chaeyoung's view wasn't the best but she could recognize a shadow walking away and she preferred to play her luck and ran towards it.</p><p>"Lisa!" she called out, not even knowing if it was Lisa but it really didn't matter much. "Please wait for me."</p><p>The silhouette stopped, right in front of a car that, if Chaeyoung focused enough, looked like Lisa's. She walked towards her, still with her heavy running breath and possibly from the couple of songs she had sung just a few minutes ago. She finally got in front of the girl who was only wearing a sweatshirt and a pair of tennis shoes as if she didn't really plan to be there. Some questions appeared in Chaeyoung's head, but none mattered as much for now.</p><p>"What do you want?" Maybe it was the way she said it or just the words but Chaeyoung's lips formed a straight line to it and no answer came from her. "Weren't you supposed to be singing? Why did you run here?"</p><p>"I... I wanted to talk to you."</p><p>"Wow, you finally decided to hear from me."</p><p>"Look, I know this silly game of running away and seeing you when fate wants it to is probably pointless but... but I don't know what to do," she sighed, holding her head. "I just fucked up my contract in this place, I don't even know if I can sing anymore because I was so overwhelmed and I..."</p><p>"I liked it," Lisa interrupted. "Your song, I was listening to it."</p><p>It was as if a bucket of cold water fell on her because she had really been thinking that nobody had liked it, that nobody had cared about a single note she played that night, not a single word she sang. But Lisa did, and her legs felt weak again but she didn't want to run away. She didn't want to run to any back doors and just accept that maybe meeting Lisa was more than just fate wanting to play a game.</p><p>"I wasn't planning on coming here but I saw your name on the flyer and maybe I felt like hearing your voice again," her voice was now calmer, even more sincere. "I'm sorry if I was the cause of..."</p><p>"No," Chaeyoung suddenly said. "I just felt suffocated up there as if, for the first time, I didn't belong on stage, but I think I was just scared of everything right now."</p><p>"Well, you did amazing," a smile appeared on the black-haired girl's lips and was enough for Chaeyoung to reciprocate one. </p><p>"Is there a way I can fix this?"</p><p>"Well, I don't know about fixing it but if you ask me out on a date I'm sure I can forget about how you left me waiting for almost..." Lisa suddenly pretended to be thinking as she hold a hand under her chin in such a comical way that Chaeyoung couldn't help but giggle. "One month."</p><p>"Would you accept to go to an date with me this Friday afternoon, Miss Lisa?"</p><p>Lisa thought about it for a few seconds, more like trying to torture Chaeyoung who was getting a little flushed. "Of course I will, are you going to finally give me your number or do I have to wait until I magically find you somewhere in all of Seoul?"</p><p>"Neither, I'll be waiting for you on 10th Street by the ice cream shop, okay?"</p><p>"The ice cream shop it is," said Lisa before turning to her car and Chaeyoung just looked at her from afar, the muffle of that car still sounded as horrible as she remembered.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>Chaeyoung wondered if something had happened that she didn't know about because this wasn't really how it used to be, at least not how it had always been for her. When did her father learn to make coffee? Or more importantly, when did he decide to serve her a cup of coffee for breakfast? This honestly sounded like a joke, but one that Chaeyoung didn't take well, because knowing her father, there was something going on behind it. Still, Chaeyoung thought it was a great idea when her dad told her to invite Jennie to dinner. </p><p>There was Chaeyoung, helping the maid prepare a dinner for her best friend, even though it was nothing formal and there wasn't really a big event, she always tried to make sure everything was in order because not everyone has a top model as a best friend and clearly she couldn't eat anything without thinking about diets first. </p><p>"Do you think this will be enough Miss Park?"</p><p>"Yeah, she's not too fancy, this is perfect... Wait, I think it's her. I'll go open the door, okay?" Chaeyoung told the maid before running to the door simply to find her best friend with a bottle of her father's favorite wine in her hands.</p><p>It felt comfortable, even though Jennie knew how badly her best friend's parents were getting along with Chaeyoung, it seemed that the evening was somehow going well. The girls used to do this sort of thing in the past when Jennie was less busy and Chaeyoung didn't sneak out at night. Those days when everything was easy but was she really happy? The answer was simple, the days when everything seemed easy were the days when Chaeyoung didn't fight to be who she wanted, so easy really doesn't mean right and Chaeyoung had to learn it the hard way.</p><p>"So tell me Jennie, how's your modeling life going? A couple of months ago I traveled to England and was surprised to see your face in a few ads on the streets of London," said her father.</p><p>"It's been a bit difficult because of time, plus my youth is going away in what others expect and want from me, but it's really worth it."</p><p>"That's the key to success," added Ms. Park. "It doesn't matter if you have to sacrifice yourself at the expense of others just to get a high position, and what is higher than an international model?"</p><p>"We've been trying to convince Chaeyoung to go into an idol agency, you know, but she seems to have some weird ideas who knows where she got them from," her father commented again, as if his daughter wasn't right next to him.</p><p>The conversation was starting to irritate Chaeyoung, she had always understood Jennie and knew that she was raised in a life of luxury and standards because Chaeyoung did too, yet it was frustrating to see how she shared the same empty ideas of her parents, how the three of them believed that it was better to lie to yourself than to fight for what really mattered. She wanted to say something, anything that would end that conversation, but simply chose to be silent and continue tasting the apple salad she loved.</p><p>The conversation continued, the words were still hanging in the air but Chaeyoung wasn't receiving them, as if there was a force field that wouldn't let them enter until Jennie, after having a drink of wine, said: "Did you already introduce your parents to that girl you like?"</p><p>"Huh? I thought you were single," said her mother.</p><p>"What's her last name? I didn't know that," her father said to her left.</p><p>Jennie didn't intend to do it maliciously, Chaeyoung knew that, but it was so hard not to mention something she said drunk? Her parents never had a problem with her likes or preferences, but unfortunately, they did have a problem with the families of those who were so lucky to get Chaeyoung to like them. With Joy it was never a problem because she was a relative of a music industry company owner in Korea, so she never had any problem but Chaeyung never forgot when she was six years old and she liked a little girl from kindergarten and her parents never let her see her again in her life because apparently her parents were <em>"too humble"</em> for their tastes. </p><p>Besides which, of course, Chaeyoung didn't like Lisa, not even a little bit. "What are you talking about?"</p><p>"The day we went out Chaeyoung got a little drunk and said something about missing a girl, it was really funny," Jennie said with a sincere laugh, she really didn't understand that this could go very wrong.</p><p>"After all these years you're really ready for another relationship, huh?" Her father looked into her eyes, and Chaeyoung did nothing but clench her jaw. "I'd like to know her first and last name, maybe we can arrange a business dinner with her parents."</p><p>"Business? God, no, I'm not dating anyone. I was just raving. That's all."</p><p>The conversation about Chaeyoung's supposed relationship ended there, but every so often she would get looks from her father who seemed very interested in bringing up the subject again. Luckily for her, it didn't happen because Jennie decided to stay over as the weather was stormy and her parents thought it was a wonderful idea.</p><p>"I'm sorry if I said something I shouldn't have," Jennie said once both girls were alone in the big bedroom of the youngest one.</p><p>"No, no, it was my fault for talking too much that night."</p><p>"Huh? So it's true?"</p><p>"No! I was drunk and you took advantage of me to get information," Chaeyoung said in a teasing tone.</p><p>"I wouldn't have known if you hadn't asked me if you should look for her, besides why don't you just send her a message like normal people do?"</p><p>It was insignificant to continue denying it even though Chaeyoung was right, it seemed that the world was determined to make it seem the opposite. So she simply gave in, because Jennie was her best friend and because she might need a couple of tips before her date. "Well, you win," Chaeyoung said, and it didn't take long for Jennie to show off her gummy smile. "There's someone but she's not my girlfriend, we're just acquaintances and I don't like her."</p><p>"So what <em>"</em>there is someone" is supposed to mean?"</p><p>"It means that... I need your help, now."</p><p>Almost an hour had passed where both girls had taken all the clothes out of Chaeyoung's closet. There were dresses, skirts, blouses, jackets, shorts and pants of all kinds and colors, from brands and others handmade just for her. It was somehow destressful to tidy up her closet, to take out all those clothes that were so stuffy that she had never used them again. On the other hand, she knew that Jennie's fashion sense was great, she always knew how to combine everything or decombine it all to make it so unique that it ended up becoming a trend all over the country.</p><p>"So who's the lucky girl?" Chaeyoung knew that the time would come when Jennie would ask her who her date would be, but she wasn't at all ready for an answer.</p><p>"She's... you know her," was the first lie. "It's that girl, the pretty one."</p><p>"You know I know a lot of pretty girls, right?" She knew but she didn't want to say a name, she didn't want to bring someone into this useless lie. "Is it by any chance Sana? The one with the pretty eyes?"</p><p>"Yes, her!" another lie.</p><p>The girl that Chaeyoung was going to see had pretty eyes indeed, if she went back some days ago it seemed that she could see her right there once again, under the white light of a fast food restaurant that Chaeyoung had no idea where it was or what its name was but her eyes were still lost in hers, in Lisa's. The day concluded as Jennie gave some love advice that ended with her realizing that Jisoo was the love of her life. Chaeyoung felt ready now, she was ready for her to become Rosé again, to be a part of her that hurt so much to hide.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>"You always have to dress like a model wherever you go," said Lisa with her back against the post in front of the ice cream shop.</p><p>"Huh? I only wore the first thing I saw," was a lie, but Chaeyoung didn't want to tell her that she spent hours deciding what to wear for this date.</p><p>"Whatever you say. By the way, where are you going to take me, if I may ask?"</p><p>"Just, come with me."</p><p>With her hand grabbing Lisa by the wrist, both girls began their journey to who knows where because Chaeyoung wasn't going to tell the details of their planned date. If she was sincere, she only wanted to show that part of herself that she always had to hide with others because with Lisa she always felt free, as if no one could judge her and that was what she wanted today, she wanted to be herself with Lisa. So she did, she took her to one of her favorite places hidden in the streets of Seoul. The record store where she used to go when she was in school and left early from her classes, right there she had gotten the vinyl records of her favorite artists that she now had on a shelf next to her bed.</p><p>"Welcome back," said the man from the record store who always recognized Chaeyoung very well.</p><p>When she finally let go of Lisa's thin (and very soft, Chaeyoung would say) wrist, they had a collection of vinyl records in front of them, some of which looked like they had been there for years. Chaeyoung glanced at Lisa because even though she was sure she wanted to bring her here, she still had some doubts about whether the girl would like it or find it boring, but once those big eyes shone as she looked around, a feeling of relief invaded her body.</p><p>"This looks exactly like a place where one of those girls from the movies would come with her guitar and plaid shirt," Lisa's eyes met Chaeyoung's and she couldn't help but chuckle.</p><p>"You're evil."</p><p>"But I like it, it's warm and there's music, and wait... is that..." The girl didn't say anything else, she simply walked straight to one of the shelves that contained the records of what appeared to be a Thai artist from the 1990s. "Can we play it?"</p><p>Chaeyoung smiled slightly as it was extremely adorable to see the way Lisa embraced the vinyl album as if she had waited a long time for this moment. "Yeah, here's a modern vinyl player on your left with some headphones that we could share if you..."</p><p>"Yes! I want you to listen to it with me." Lisa's voice interrupted Chaeyoung but it didn't really matter because Lisa wanted her to listen to it with her.</p><p>So they spent almost two hours, both sitting on the floor of the store next to the modern vinyl player while listening to music from what Lisa's mother used to sing her at bedtime to those you listen to once on the radio and then never hear from again. It was better, much better than Chaeyoung ever imagined and it really felt like that's where she was supposed to be. There was nowhere else Chaeyoung wanted to be, right next to a not-so-unknown girl as they listened to sweet melodies ringing in their ears.</p><p>"I loved it here," said Lisa, once there were no more albums they wanted to listen to for now.</p><p>"Really?"</p><p>"It's very... you. A quiet place with lots of music and enough space to just appreciate it." It was something that Chaeyoung never expected to hear from anyone, no one really cared if she liked classical, indie or eighties rock music, no one really cared what Chaeyoung thought of her greatest passion. "We should leave before it gets dark."</p><p>The words took her out of her thoughts, because Lisa was so unique and kind and attentive and Chaeyoung was just smiling like a fool. "You're right."</p><p>"But I don't know if I can leave my favorite album here," a pout, as if everything about Lisa wasn't adorable enough she had to pout while holding in her arms that album that caught the girl's attention from the start. "All right, I think I'm ready to leave it now."</p><p>"You're too dramatic, but I promise you that one day we'll come back and listen to it like it was the first time," saying this, they both walked to the door because there was still more to do and Chaeyoung couldn't stop smiling.</p><p>The sky was soon revealing a sunset where the sky looked like fire, at the bottom where the sun was hiding a red line lit up Lisa's face as both girls walked out the front door of that record store.</p><p>"So where are you taking me now?"</p><p>"Well, I booked a table at a restaurant that has delicious food only we'll have to walk there unless you want me to call a driver or..."</p><p>"No," Lisa interrupted her. "I like to walk."</p><p>At first everything seemed quiet, the big red sky turned into a darker one as the sunset passed in front of their eyes. The clouds covered what little was left and darkness settled on the streets of Seoul. Chaeyoung was content with this, and everything seemed to be going well until she realized they were walking on the wrong street because apparently Chaeyoung wasn't very good with directions. Despite realizing that she really wasn't sure how to get to the restaurant, raindrops from a gray cloud suddenly began to fall, and the thicker the drops, the more Chaeyoung accepted that she was lost.</p><p>"I have a confession."</p><p>"Now? Can't you wait to get to the restaurant?" </p><p>"That's the problem," her cheeks were probably red and the raindrops began to wet her shoes."I thought I knew the exact direction but it turns out that after walking I realized that I don't know how to get there and it's raining and everything is a mess."</p><p>"Do you have an umbrella?"</p><p>"Huh? Do you think that if I had brought it, I wouldn't have taken it out already?"</p><p>That was the first time Lisa held Chaeyoung's hand. Lisa grabbed her tightly and then ran, because the rain started to pour harder and the two girls couldn't do anything but run away from it. They both ran, and couldn't help but giggle in the process because really even though everything looked like a mess at no point did it feel like one because running in the rain was the closest thing any pair of girls would ever do. The closest thing Chaeyoung could feel to being free. </p><p>"Here," Lisa said all of a sudden, changing the direction to a place that Chaeyoung really had no idea what it was.</p><p>"What are we gonna do here?"</p><p>"You wait, and l make a call."</p><p>So after fifteen minutes, on what was supposed to be the perfect date, Chaeyoung ended up in that familiar car with her wet clothes and Lisa smiling as if nothing had happened. She looked cute though, her eyes still sparkled as Chaeyoung had begun to notice every time Lisa was distracted, it was as if somehow everything fascinated her and Chaeyoung couldn't resist to be the one who admired her.</p><p>"Where are we supposed to go?"</p><p>"You're hungry, aren't you?"</p><p>"I mean, yes, but I don't understand where we're going," the blonde leaned into Lisa's ear, whispering, "I don't even know who he is." Chaeyoung expected anything, mostly an answer but certainly not a burst of laughter coming from the girl's throat next to her. "What was supposed to be so funny?</p><p>"He's my father."</p><p>"Wait, what? And why didn't you introduce me to him before?"</p><p>"I was waiting for us to get to our destination, I told you my dad had a restaurant, remember?"</p><p>It was as if for a moment everything in Chaeyoung stopped, even though the car was still moving and Lisa was talking about something on the left side of her, Chaeyoung couldn't say anything or listen or even think straight. What was she supposed to do now? She really brought someone into her life, into that false life which she knew it had a time limit. And even though she didn't want to, she couldn't help but smile a little every time Lisa looked at her with excitement, every time Lisa whispered the lyrics of those songs at the record store, she couldn't help but smile a little when Lisa held her hand tighter in the rain or when she smiled at her when the car arrived. This was a very bad situation that Chaeyoung didn't know how to stop, or maybe she just didn't want to.</p><p>"We went to a cool record store, we even found that album mom used to love, then we wanted to eat something but Rosé forgot how to get there and it started raining so the best option was to call you. Oh and by the way, this is Rosé," Chaeyoung was a little flushed because it had been a long time since she had been introduced to people outside her social circle, at least not in this way. "She's um..."</p><p>"A friend," she said before reaching out her hand for whoever appeared to be Lisa's father to take. "I'm so sorry you had to pick us up."</p><p>"Oh, it's no problem, but you girls should hurry into the house. Lisa, give her a towel and let her take a bath because if you keep soaking wet you're going to get sick, you take a bath too and then go to the restaurant for dinner, got it?" Lisa's father seemed nice enough, he even didn't stop smiling just like Lisa usually did, and Chaeyoung just thought about how much of him was in Lisa.</p><p>Lisa's house was small, warm and colorful. Chaeyoung always wanted to live in a house like that, so small that she always felt accompanied. Will Lisa feel that way? She wondered once she finally entered the shower. It didn't last long because it wasn't her bathroom and all she really wanted to do was get rid of her sticky wet clothes. Lisa had lent her a pair of baggy jeans and a sweater with a cat design that Chaeyoung couldn't help but smile at.</p><p>"Are you ready?" Lisa asked once Chaeyoung came out of the bathroom, fully ready for whatever was to follow in the night.</p><p>"I've been ready for dinner for two hours now."</p><p>The restaurant was on the same block, so it was quick to get there and Chaeyoung's stomach was grateful for that. Just like his house, Lisa's father's restaurant was the same. Small, warm but so colorful and bright, as if there was a lot of energy in everything that went on there. There were little red lights all over the place, most of the tables were occupied and from a distance it was possible to see Lisa's father with an apron tied around his waist in the kitchen area. It was comfortable, natural and very real to be there with Lisa.</p><p>"So you're the owner of the Manoban restaurant."</p><p>"Well, that's my last name," joked Lisa, stuffing a bite into her mouth. "How about you?</p><p>"Me?"</p><p>"Your last name, you're from here, right? I mean, your name is pretty different and that means it has a history behind it."</p><p>It was true that Chaeyoung hadn't told her anything about herself other than her age, where she studied, and that she had an older sister. Would it be okay to tell her about her last name? About her life in Australia? About how her father was an influential businessman in Seoul? Wasn't that too risky? Chaeyoung had always been brave enough to take risks but each time she did, she knew she was closer to stepping on the ground and falling. </p><p>Chaeyoung didn't want to fall.</p><p>By the time she was ready to say something, anything, a beep was heard outside announcing that the car Chaeyoung had ordered had arrived and it was time to say goodbye, and although a part of her didn't want to, she was really tired just like Lisa and needed to rest. She needed time to think about what the hell she was going to do after that, or what she could do because the options were really few. She stood up, bowed to Lisa's father and planted a small kiss on Lisa's cheek before leaving until Lisa herself stopped her.</p><p>"Here," she took Chaeyoung's hand, opened it and put a small piece of paper that Chaeyoung didn't dare open until she was alone in the car.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>This is my number. I can't wait another month to hear from you.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>+820X6X84</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Call me.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Li.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>A whole week, Chaeyoung had spent a whole week looking at that paper on the nightstand before going to sleep. It was as if at some point an impulse was going to control her body and finally call her. Because that was what she really wanted, Chaeyoung wanted to call Lisa, she wanted to hear from Lisa even that night, she wanted to tell her how great it was and that it was probably the best date she'd ever had. Why did everything have to be so complicated? She only had to dial eight digits and say "<em>hello</em>," but Chaeyoung didn't. She closed her eyes and tried to sleep.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>"Miss Chaeyoung, can you stay for a moment?" Her law professor called out to her, making her stop at the door of the classroom where she was about to leave. "It's about your grades."</p><p>"What about it?"</p><p>"Look, I've been at this for many years, more than you think," the professor started, and Chaeyoung felt tension growing in her stomach. "I know when someone has a talent for developing in this area, and you do, but I also know when they don't want to be here. Chaeyoung, do you really want to be a lawyer?"</p><p>She knew the answer, even before she entered this course. "I do," she lied.</p><p>"I hope that's true, there's nothing worse than being someone else's puppet, you know? Here, you got the highest grade."</p><p>She grabbed her exam and ran away. What was she supposed to do with this grade that didn't matter to her in the least? She just wanted to go out at night again and sing, go out and perform until her legs got tired but her fingers can still play those strings. She just wanted to stop all this and focus on her music, on Betty, on her. As much as she was getting more determined every day to do so, she knew that the cost was going to be losing her parents, her family and probably her friends. She tried not to think about it too much as the driver was driving her to her best friend's house.</p><p>Half of the blame was hers as she should have stayed outside her best friend's house until she answered, but she didn't. Still, she regretted that decision once when she walked through the door of Jennie's room only to find Jennie and Jisoo doing things Chaeyoung didn't feel like seeing.</p><p>"Jen..."</p><p>"Chaeyoung!"</p><p>"Shit," she said, and even though she wanted to run out of there, Jennie talked.</p><p>"Wait, we'll put our clothes on and come out, okay?" A voice was heard behind the door that Chaeyoung closed in shock. "We're ready, come inside."</p><p>Both girls made enough room for her to sit on the bed in which seconds ago they were too busy. Chaeyoung really didn't have an excuse for being there, she just felt like crap and wanted someone, and so calling Lisa was still not a valid option.</p><p>"Why didn't you call me before you came?"</p><p>"I literally texted you three times."</p><p>"Oh right, I haven't checked my phone for hours now," the girl said before stretching out her arm to pick up the phone and check five new messages from Chaeyoung. "Well, how was your date? I think that's why you're here, right?"</p><p>"Wait, Chaeng had a date?" A hoarse voice was heard, being nothing more than Jisoo with that smirk of hers.</p><p>"It was just a casual date, nothing too serious," she admitted.</p><p>"I don't believe you, it's Sana, have you seen her? She's extremely sexy, there's no way it's just a casual date."</p><p>"Wait, you had a date with the Japanese girl? Oh, God, how did I not know about this before?" said Jisoo, dramatically covering her mouth and Chaeyoung simply rolled her eyes.</p><p>More than just lying to her friends, what hurt her most was not being able to actually tell them about the date. How much she loved spending time with Lisa, how she met her father, Lisa told her about the music her mom used to sing to her back in Thailand and about all the meals her dad could cook that only made Chaeyoung more hungry. The laughter that came from their throats as they ran in the rain, how holding Lisa's hand felt safe and how her house smelled like flowers. She wanted to tell them all that, but she couldn't because it would be a risk she wasn't prepared to take.</p><p>"I'll talk to Sana," Jennie said, making Chaeyoung completely forget what she was thinking.</p><p>"Huh? No!" She screamed, but Jennie just smiled sideways.</p><p>"It's just a little message, hold on."</p><p>"Jennie, don't!"</p><p>"Too late," her best friend had always been like that, too fearless and bold. Chaeyoung had always liked that because it encouraged her to do things she never imagined, but this time, she was hating it. "Oh, look, she answered me something about being available for a date with you this Wednesday at 6 pm, are you free?"</p><p>"I wasn't even sure if..."</p><p>"I'll tell her yes, you don't do much after school anyway."</p><p>There really wasn't much to do and no way to convince Jennie it was a bad idea because it was Chaeyoung's fault from the beginning. She and her silly plan to lie and involve a girl who had no idea what was going on brought her here. She couldn't complain or refuse, just accept.</p><p>"There better be a kiss on this date," Jennie said, making Chaeyoung blushed a little.</p><p>"I-I don't think that's gonna happen."</p><p>"It's time for you to have someone and for us to be the third wheel," Jisoo confessed with a chuckle that her girlfriend followed. "We can even double date, I always wanted to try but with Joy it didn't last long."</p><p>The conversation continued for a while longer where it was just Jisoo and Jennie talking about the thousands of things they could do with Chaeyoung and Sana, which simply made her feel worse for lying, for fooling them and for continuing to hide about Lisa. Maybe it was a good idea to go out <span class="st">—</span> for real this time <span class="st">—</span> with someone like Sana. She had always been a close friend of Jennie's and on every birthday they saw each other but they never really made conversation. She had a popular last name, apparently her grandparents own something big back in Japan, and was freaking gorgeous so her parents would probably love someone like her, but the question is, would Chaeyoung like her too?</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>"Where are you going so well dressed? That dress I bought you fits you like a glove," her father spoke on the stairs as he watched Chaeyoung walk out the door.</p><p>"I'm just going out with a friend, that's all," she lied.</p><p>"All right, be careful, okay? Call the chauffeur to bring you back," he said to go back up the stairs.</p><p>Chaeyoung didn't plan on telling him she was going on a date with the Minatozaki's daughter because that would wreak havoc on that house, and the next thing she knew she'd be at her own wedding in front of the brown-haired Japanese girl. The best thing was to go quietly, say nothing and wait to see what happened this afternoon. Maybe she could get lucky and magically fall in love with Sana and her life would be solved, or just go back and look at that paper on the bedside table with a number on it. To avoid the latter, she took that paper and put it in her handbag. </p><p>The streets of Seoul were humid, the weather had been rainy for the last month and the flowers that Chaeyoung loved to see blossoming on her way to college were nowhere to be seen. Even so, Chaeyoung focused her gaze on the sky, that faithful friend who had always accompanied her on the hardest days, with stars or without them, with the sun or in the dark. Chaeyoung could be alone, she could feel as if nobody could hear her, but at least the serenity that the sky gave her was enough to make her want to wake up the next day.</p><p>There was the Japanese girl that Chaeyoung had seen a couple of times before, her figure was absolutely fine and the features on her face looked like they had been carved by the gods. She was really what they say about someone who was born to be beautiful. Next to her was a car, probably a chauffeur, and Chaeyoung couldn't ignore the leather jacket the girl was wearing under her scarf and those high heels that made her look so damn elegant.</p><p>"Chaeyoung!" The girl ran a little bit until she reached her, hugging her all of a sudden. "Wow, you look great."</p><p>"So do you."</p><p>"Are you ready for tonight?"</p><p>Not really, but she would never say that. "Yep, I am."</p><p>Chaeyoung was expecting silence and awkwardness inside that car but it was the opposite. She had never met a girl so cheerful and talkative, she held Chaeyoung's hand as if they had known each other all her life and when they got out of that car she even put that leather jacket on her shoulders, protecting her from the cold. Jennie was right that afternoon at home, when she told her that Sana was really special. </p><p>Inside the theater where Sana led her to listen to the Seoul Central Orchestra, which Chaeyoung loved as she loved music even though Sana didn't know it, her heart felt a little warmer. More calm because it really didn't seem like a serious compromise, but rather an evening accompanied by someone who made it even nicer. </p><p>Once the concert was over and both girls were in the car on their way to what appeared to be a coffee shop near city center, Sana spoke up.</p><p>"I really couldn't believe it when Jennie told me if I wanted to go on a date with you again," the girl commented, Chaeyoung stiffly remembering that according to Jennie this was their second date. "We've never gone out on a date, I guess she got a typo, but still, you've always caught my eye."</p><p>The words rang in Chaeyoung's right ear but she didn't seem to want to listen. "Me?"</p><p>"Well, yeah, who else?" A laugh came from the girl's pink lips. "I'm interested in you, Chaeyoung. I've always thought you're really pretty and I..."</p><p>The girl kept talking, talking, but Chaeyoung wouldn't listen because she was too overwhelmed to be there. It was silly of her to think that maybe this was a good thing and that the night could end well because there was really no way that anything that came out of a lie could end well. Sana was sweet, attentive and seemed to really like Chaeyoung and in return, Chaeyoung just lied to her face about wanting this. She didn't want this, she wanted to be away from there somewhere in the world with Betty, and maybe a dog and maybe... just maybe Lisa. Sana deserved someone who wanted to be there, someone who really wanted a date with her. This wasn't even Jennie's fault, much less Sana's, just hers. </p><p>Chaeyoung had to be honest for once in her fucking life.</p><p>"I'm sorry," the words came out of her mouth sooner than planned. "I just lied."</p><p>"What are you talking about?"</p><p>"About my life, and this date," Chaeyoung confessed, still in the car that smelled new. "You're kind and goddamn beautiful, plus you look so elegant and god, you're amazing, Sana. You really are but I'm here because I lied and now I just don't want to."</p><p>"You lied about wanting to go out with me?"</p><p>"I lied about everything, I... I shouldn't be here and you don't deserve to waste your time on someone like me."</p><p>"Chaeyoung, I..."</p><p>"No," the blonde girl cut her off. "Just drop me off here, okay?"</p><p>It was hard to convince her, and it even seemed like the car was going so slowly in case Chaeyoung changed her mind, only it didn't happen. She knew that a scolding from Jennie would await her, and if Chaeyoung was honest she deserved it. Now, she just wanted to keep the tears that were threatening to fall from doing so. She needed to get out of there, somewhere. She took her phone to call the chauffeur, wrote the name in the agenda, but her finger didn't press the call button. Her gaze simply stared at her phone, not sure if that was what she wanted to do. Her other hand took the small piece of paper with a number on it. The number of that bright-eyed, smiling girl. Her fingers seemed immobile, and her breathing accelerated. Her fingers had already begun to dial that number on the paper in her phone, she simply had to touch the call button. Her finger only had to move an inch.</p><p>"Fuck it," she said to herself as she pressed the call button.</p><p>It was embarrassing, Chaeyoung must admit, but it also felt so refreshing to hear Lisa's voice after almost two weeks. Apparently she was on shift at her dad's restaurant, and only someone as dumb as Chaeyoung thought to call her right now, but when Lisa asked her to wait twenty minutes to go get her, the embarrassment was worth it. It was worth waiting at a small bus stop where the rain caught up with her and her shoes were soaked again, it was worth running in the rain when the car light dazzled her indicating that Lisa had arrived and it was also worth planting a wet but sincere kiss on the pink cheek of the girl in the driver's seat.</p><p>"I assume you liked my shower, huh?"</p><p>"Excuse me?"</p><p>"You're soaking wet, as soon as we get to my house you're gonna take a bath," Lisa said with that damn smile that Chaeyoung was beginning to love and hate in some way because it always managed to get into her head. But as much as she hated it, she couldn't help but smile back. And it felt good, until suddenly her stomach growled, "Are you hungry?"</p><p>"I'm always hungry."</p><p>The road to Lisa's house was quiet but comfortable, with the music from the radio and the occasional murmur of Lisa singing the songs quietly was enough to fill the car with calm. She still felt a hint of discontent in her chest about what had happened before but really, she did the right thing. She couldn't lie to Sana nor could she continue to fool Jennie. She couldn't force herself into that life that she should have been used to but she wasn't because she was now in that old car with a cute girl on her side. This wasn't her life, not Chaeyoung's.</p><p>She took a bath in that shower once again, this time Lisa lent her something more comfortable like a sweatpant and a baggy shirt and Chaeyoung felt warm. Once she came out of the bathroom, Lisa was sitting on the couch watching something on her TV that looked like a K-drama. Chaeyoung giggled and Lisa finally looked at her.</p><p>"You're lucky because there's a lot of leftover snacks from the restaurant today," Lisa said as she walked into the kitchen and Chaeoung just followed her with some embarrassment. "I haven't eaten anything, so we can share them, what do you think?"</p><p>"I think it's perfect."</p><p>Chaeyoung was grateful, not only for the food and how well Lisa treated her despite how bad Chaeyoung had been to her, but also because even though she knew something was wrong she didn't ask Chaeyoung any questions at the table. She just kept making silly jokes and showing pictures of her four cats when they were little. It seemed that somehow those four cats were as important to Lisa as Betty was to Chaeyoung. It was such a familiar feeling, and Chaeyoung smiled because even though everything outside was falling apart, inside this little house that smelled like flowers felt safe.</p><p>Hours passed where Chaeyoung and Lisa talked about everything they wanted to talk about since the last time they saw each other. They talked about how much Chaeyoung enjoyed that night and what she thought of Lisa's father the first time she saw him. The subject of food also came up, Chaeyoung really loved how Lisa's father cooked. After almost an hour of conversation about everything and nothing at the same time, Chaeyoung accompanied Lisa to finish the episode of that K-drama she was watching. Apparently it was something about a girl who went to America to fulfill her dream of being an actress, and there was this spark in Lisa's eyes that seemed so interested and fascinated by what was in front of her that Chaeyoung doubted if she could perhaps identify with any of it. </p><p>The episode ended and Lisa invited her into her bedroom, they both lay down on the bed and Chaeyoung noticed the large window in the Thai girl's room, exposing the dark sky with stars just as Chaeyoung always saw before going to sleep. </p><p>"Are you okay?" Lisa's soft voice was heard but Chaeyoung kept looking out the window.</p><p>"Hm?"</p><p>"When I went to pick you up, you... You looked like you were going to cry," Chaeyoung really thought she was good at hiding it, it was good to know she wasn't. "I didn't want to say anything until I saw you calm, dry and with a full stomach, but why did you really call me?" Lisa's look showed no anger or even confusion, just curiosity.</p><p>"It's just that I... I'm sorry.," responded Chaeyoung.</p><p>"You have nothing to be sorry about. I just... I don't understand, I don't understand anything with you, Rosé." A feeling of emptiness began to fill her stomach as she heard Lisa's words so close to her ear. "I know we met suddenly, totally unplanned. And maybe I insisted on seeing you again but I never pressured you. I... I know you want to see me too but why do you torture yourself so much by pushing us away?" The answer was on the tip of her tongue, but Chaeyoung didn't speak, or say a word. "I didn't see you for a month, and it was okay because if you didn't want to hear from me, that's fine, but then you offered me a date and it was... perfect. But after that, you left again for two weeks until you called me at eight o'clock at night in the rain because you were alone, what does that even mean?"</p><p>Yes, Lisa was absolutely right to ask this, she didn't even have to bring her here in the first place. As much as Chaeyoung wanted to tell her that she always wanted to see her, she knew that her actions seemed to be the opposite, and although Lisa respected it, Chaeyoung somehow ended up coming back to her. She had to change that, she had to change a lot of things, and it was best to do it now. </p><p>"I think I probably like you maybe a little bit," that wasn't the best way to fix it but it was a step. She couldn't reveal all that she had behind her, but at least she could be honest from now on.</p><p>A chuckle came from the Thai girl's throat, making Chaeyoung finally stop looking at the stars from the window and see the bright eyes of the girl next to her. "Maybe I probably like you too."</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>Yawning while still rubbing her eyes, Chaeyoung realized where she was. A shocked blow made her sit down suddenly, pushing the girl next to her. Most likely, after yesterday's conversation, both girls fell asleep with the sky in front of them. Her first thought was to see Lisa asleep, which brought a smile to her face, the second was to check her phone and then that smile faded when she had 20 calls from her mom and apparently twenty minutes to go to her class.</p><p>"Lisa, please wake up!"</p><p>"I have my shift until three," she answered with her half-asleep voice.</p><p>"Wonderful, but I have class in twenty, can you drop me off?"</p><p>The music played on the car speakers, a song that Chaeyoung didn't know but made her feel like she was going somewhere far away from here, with only this car and the air accompanying her through the window. It was one of her silly dreams, to travel far away without feeling any remorse, to travel until there was no more place she wanted to be.</p><p>"So you'll be a future lawyer," said Lisa, just blocks from the university.</p><p>"Not if I get away from this hellhole first."</p><p>"Is that how you call your college? I wish I was there!"</p><p>Chaeyoung suddenly recalled that conversation where Lisa told her she wanted to go to college but couldn't. "I'm pretty sure you will," she said with a little smile on her lips as she took off her belt.</p><p>"Have fun at college."</p><p>"Have fun at the restaurant," they both laughed, and this time Chaeyoung made sure to leave another not-so-wet kiss on the pink cheeks of the girl in the driver's seat.</p><p>The whole afternoon was based on reading about different points of view from various lawyers in the same case and remembering Lisa's smile from time to time. A part of her wished she had brought her guitar because with such inspiration she could have composed something, anything that would do justice to that feeling that wanted to grow right in the pit of her stomach. For a strange reason, and one that Chaeyoung was not upset about, the lessons went by faster and her inspiration, though not the best, made her feel one percent more at peace in this class. Which crumbled to pieces once her feet touched the expensive wood on the floor of her house.</p><p>"Are you going to tell me where you were?" said her mother at the table, next to her father who was drinking a cup of coffee, probably black.</p><p>"I need to take a bath first."</p><p>"You need to answer your mother first," now spoke the man with the cup in his hand.</p><p>"I stayed at Irene's last night, I didn't plan to do it but..."</p><p>"Don't lie to us," her mother interrupted. "Jennie called because you apparently stood up a girl and she was angry."</p><p>Lately Jennie had been unintentionally complicating things for her. Chaeyoung, of course, was the one to blame, and no one else, for hiding things from those she loved most. She just had to find a way out of this predicament, she was really trying not to lie when she didn't have to but with her parents there were no options. They were either tell the truth and not know you as a daughter or lie and continue living this false life.</p><p>"I told you, I was with Irene, not Jennie," she responded with her voice a bit quieter. "I didn't stand anyone up, I just wanted to get out of there, is that bad?"</p><p>"It's bad when you have a last name to respect. What is everyone going to say about my daughter being a player?"</p><p>"What? I never..."</p><p>"I've always respected your preferences but I'm not going to stand by and watch you ruin your law career over rumors," her father said firmly, standing up instantly.</p><p>"Respecting me is the minimum you can do for me as a father and I... I don't even date anyone!" she shouted before running up the stairs to her room, her only place in that house where she could feel at home.</p><p>There was Betty, her prized wooden guitar sitting next to her bed as if she had been waiting for it since yesterday when she left without saying goodbye. She was really angry, and even though Betty was right there, she couldn't take it off like that. She couldn't do anything but want to go out on stage and let go of all the things that made her angry, that brought her down and that made her feel tied here. To this house, and to this family name that she never asked for.</p><p>She took a bath, chose one of her best outfits, put on some make-up and waited for the clock to strike nine to sneak out from behind her house.</p><p>"I haven't seen you around here in a while, Rosé," said the man with the mustache in charge of announcing today's performers.</p><p>"It was a little while, but I'm here now."</p><p>"Perfect because you're next."</p><p>The adrenaline that ran through her body once again left her legs weak. Just having Betty in front of those people, the heat that ran through her body when everyone heard the microphone and turned to see her, the moment when everyone managed to listen to her was like an orgasm of feelings in the chest. She sang the first words, then the others and those she wrote that night before she went to sleep. All concluding a story where the world was a free place and people could fly wherever they wanted to go. A world where it is not necessary to shout to be heard. That world of human beings. </p><p>She had to take a deep breath in order to feel the adrenaline going down after her performance. Right at the back door where she met Lisa some time ago, Chaeyoung was now handling her emotions much better. She thought about leaving, she had nothing to do other than take a well deserved nap but suddenly her phone buzzed in the pocket of her silk pants.</p><p>"Hello?"</p><p>"Chaeng, come out! We're in front of your house," said a noisy voice that Chaeyoung knew too well.</p><p>"Jen? Wait, why do you want me to come out?" This was bad, starting because Chaeyoung wasn't even at home.</p><p>"I'm with Irene and Jisoo, let's have a drink, pleaseeee? Besides, I need to scold you for what you did to Sana and I'd better scold you drunk, right?"</p><p>"Okay. Just... go ahead and I'll catch up with you guys later, where are you gonna be?"</p><p>"At Wendy's brother's bar, don't be long!"</p><p>This wasn't the best idea and Chaeyoung was really sleepy, besides that drunk she used to say too much and right now she wasn't here to ruin even more the little she had been building with Lisa. A smile escaped her lips thinking that maybe Lisa could have come here, with her friends as Jisoo mentioned that night only that instead of Sana it would be the Thai girl. A pity that her friends would probably prefer that Chaeyoung didn't come at all than arrived with a "nobody".</p><p>She took a cab to that bar Wendy's brother owned. Wendy was a childhood friend of Irene's although they never usually went out together because she had a busy life as a soloist, yet they always got free drinks when they got there. Chaeyoung had forgotten for a second that she had brought Betty, which meant she would have to make some lame excuse because no one would bring her acoustic guitar into a bar.</p><p>"Chaeng!" A loud shout was heard from the door, being Jisoo and Irene chanting her name in chorus.</p><p>"What's up?" she said somewhat timidly, remembering that Jennie was probably ready to lecture her for hours.</p><p>"Are you gonna explain why the heck you left Sana alone in the middle of the date?"</p><p>"You're not even gonna let me have a drink before this?" </p><p>Jennie rolled her eyes but nodded, Chaeyoung smiled and called the waiter to order a drink with as minimal alcohol as possible. "So?"</p><p>"It's just that she was great and didn't really deserve to go out with me because clearly I don't want anything more than a friendship, and you know me I don't want to get anyone's hopes up." It wasn't a lie, it was the truth and she just wanted Jennie to be able to understand it.</p><p>"This was your first date with her, right?"</p><p>"Maybe."</p><p>"Who did you go out with last time then?"</p><p>"Can't people have secrets?"</p><p>"You know what? Fuck you and your secrets. Jisoo love, please ask for a bottle of vodka," said Jennie with her slightly pink cheeks, and that only happened when she was embarrassed or angry, Chaeyoung opted for the latter.</p><p>In ten minutes or less, Jennie had completely forgotten about the anger and was instead sitting on Chaeyoung's lap. The lights in the bar were a little bright and the alcohol didn't sit too well with Chaeyoung, yet she knew from that past conversation with her best friend that she had to be careful now. Jennie was awesome, she was one of those people who moves heaven and earth for you but not for anyone else. She was the kind of person who, if you get together with someone she doesn't like, will only go for you and no one else. It's not bad to be like that, she was a model and had to be careful of people with bad intentions because there were always people who wanted to take her position or her money. Besides, her father almost got her in trouble not long ago because she trusted him with her signature. She was suspicious, always. And if she knew that Chaeyoung had secrets, she'd look into knowing them because secrets could end up in chaos.</p><p>"Now, who the hell brings a guitar here?" Chaeyoung had been waiting for this question all night.</p><p>"I thought Jennie would kill me so I brought her to serenade her," she replied with a chuckle, as if half of it were true.</p><p>"Serenade my girlfriend? Wow, I never expected this from you. "</p><p>"Hey, you're not helping!"</p><p>"So where's my serenade?" Jennie entered the conversation with her defiant voice.</p><p>"I can tell Wendy's brother to let Chaeyoung sing, she hasn't sung for us in a long time! When was the last time? I think at that campfire," Irene said with a pout that Chaeyoung really didn't want to make it last any longer.</p><p>"Okay, I'll sing but only if Jisoo and her beautiful voice join me."</p><p>So Betty was there with Jisoo and Chaeyoung half drunk singing in one of Seoul's most expensive bars. Jennie and Irene cheered for them and it felt good. For a moment Chaeyoung thought about what would happen if she told her friends about her dream of being a musician far away from here, of leaving her last name and becoming what she wanted. It didn't matter who she was with or if she should live in a luxury home, just live with music as she always dreamed. Maybe they would call her crazy, or maybe there is a slight chance that they would accept her and tell her that she had the right to follow her dreams even if she disappointed her parents. But she could only imagine, because trying to do so was still scary. She wasn't ready for that, not yet. Now she just wanted to enjoy that night with the music she loved so much and her best friends. </p><p>"So what did you do after the date with Sana? I texted you and called your house but you weren't there," said Jennie in the driver's seat as she drove to Chaeyoung's house, who was in the passenger seat while the other two slept soundly in the back seats.</p><p>"I just went out with a friend."</p><p>"From college?"</p><p>"No, it was with Lisa," Chaeyoung replied, the words coming out of her mouth not realizing since the vodka really hit her hard.</p><p>"Lisa," Jennie muttered to herself, fully conscious and without a drop of alcohol in her blood. She was the designated driver at the end of it all. "Good to know her name."</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>"You really think I'm gonna learn to play guitar all of a sudden?" said Lisa with Betty in her hands.</p><p>"No, but you have a very good teacher."</p><p>"You just laugh every time I make a mistake!"</p><p>"Humor is part of the learning process, now respect your teacher," said Chaeyoung and the laughter of the two girls echoed.</p><p>That's how the days had been lately, going out from time to time with Lisa. One day she invited her to dinner at her house, another they went bowling (Lisa lost against Chaeyoung and had been the joke after that), another they stayed late on call and now they were right there in a place that Chaeyoung didn't know but loved already. It seemed that Lisa had a lot of time when she arrived in Korea because she knew many places around Seoul that were not so well known. Chaeyoung remembered that day when she took her to a lookout point and now that they were in an almost abandoned park with ducks and a big lake in front of them.</p><p>It was comfortable and warm, everything with Lisa was.</p><p>"It's funny you know?"</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"That you've been coming to my house so often, you get along so well with my dad that you've even scheduled to make a dessert together but I don't know anything about your family," Lisa said absent-mindedly, looking at the lake surrounded by flowers. "You said you had an older sister, right? Why don't you bring her to the restaurant for lunch one day?"</p><p>"I don't know if she really wants to, she's a little grumpy."</p><p>"Like you when you're hungry or worse?"</p><p>"Hey! I'm never grumpy," Chaeyoung pouted unconsciously but her cheeks blushed when Lisa placed one of her long fingers on top of it.</p><p>"You look cute."</p><p>She didn't know if she could really get used to this. This life of butterflies in the stomach and warm cheeks every time Lisa did the slightest thing to show her how much she liked her. Lisa's eyes shone even in the brightness of the afternoon and Chaeyoung just wanted to hold her hand tightly. It was a big step, as they had never done more than small kisses on the cheeks but Chaeyoung really wanted to know that she could have Lisa by her side. Even though Lisa believed her name was Rosé and probably thought her parents knew she used to sing at night and may not have noticed she was a multi-millionaire, Chaeyoung just wanted to feel Lisa in her hands</p><p>Slowly, with her breath stuck in her lungs Chaeyoung moved her hand. Centimeter after centimeter and second after second, Chaeyoung could feel the warmth of Lisa's delicate hands next to hers. An anxiety ran through her body, the palm of her hand itching because it wanted to get closer. Chaeyoung did so, bringing it closer until she felt the warmth of Lisa's hand just touching hers. She didn't stop there, Chaeyoung moved it enough until each of her fingers intertwined with Lisa's and the butterflies in her stomach seemed finally free from her.</p><p>That's how Lisa felt, she felt like being free. </p><p>"Lisa," Chaeyoung said once in the car on the way home, with the music of the radio in the background.</p><p>"Hm?"</p><p>"I lied to you before when I said I might like you."</p><p>"Really?"</p><p>"I'm sure I like you a lot."</p><p>That day Chaeyoung came home with a silly smile on her face the same one she used to hate when Jennie put it on every time she went out on a date with Jisoo. After having dinner "as a family " and pretending a dumb conversation about how interesting and great the law was, she went upstairs to her room. Her open balcony, the view of the streets with colorful lights was the only thing that mattered there. She took out her notebook, the one that had accompanied her for months and where she wrote down everything that would one day become a song. She took her black pencil, and wrote.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>You, Betty and I.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>She smiled at her notebook, and looked out at the streets again. Her notebook closed, her bare feet walked her to her big bed that now seemed colder after having slept in Lisa's once. Chaeyoung was beginning to hate the cold, she was hating to be without Lisa. </p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>The cold soon disappeared because in just a few days she was in the kitchen of that small house that smelled of flowers. Lisa's father had the day off, and so did Lisa so they planned to make a dessert that used to be Lisa's favorite there in Thailand. Chaeyoung had never been very good at cooking, and she didn't even know if her cooking would work, but she had an excellent chef by her side and Lisa had probably inherited some of that talent. She had been in charge of buying all the ingredients and the necessary, she also brought some take-out for dinner before dessert.</p><p>"Did you bring the coconut?" asked Lisa's father, with his apron already on.</p><p>"Yeah, I followed the list Li texted me."</p><p>"You're very efficient, you really liked the idea, huh?"</p><p>A smile of excitement fell on Lisa's lips as she heard that, and Chaeyoung couldn't help but mimic her. "I'm probably not good at this, but I really want to do it."</p><p>"Why? Don't you usually cook at your parents' house Rosé?"</p><p>The questions were more and more, every day more situations where Chaeyoung didn't know if she really wanted to answer them because it might not be good for her or Lisa or anyone else. "We have a lady who takes care of that, she cooks delicious," she replied, trying to be honest. </p><p>"Huh? I didn't know that," added Lisa with a scowl and a little pout that Chaeyoung couldn't resist.</p><p>"Well, less talk and more action," announced Lisa's father, and that pout disappeared in the blink of an eye.</p><p>If Chaeyoung had to describe that afternoon in a song, it would be somewhat cheesy, like those catchy songs that after months of going out are still playing all over the town. It was so charming and familiar, something so natural that it seemed normal for the three of them to sit and watch the oven for almost an hour. Lisa caressed her hand when her father was too busy mixing the flour, Chaeyoung planted kisses on her cheek when Lisa was finishing decorating the dessert, and Lisa's father took a couple of pictures without either of them noticing. It was so warm and homey that Chaeyoung couldn't imagine leaving them now, not before tasting the dessert and hugging Lisa so tightly because she looked so adorable with some vanilla cream on her nose.</p><p>The dessert was delicious, Lisa's dad really was a good chef, in addition to the finishing touches that Lisa gave to it make it even better. It was sweet but not too sweet, just enough to make you want more. And Chaeyoung wanted more, from Lisa, from this and from the dessert. She wanted more of everything that felt like being there, and when they went up to the room after washing the dishes, they found that big window in front of them, Chaeyoung stopped wanting and looked at what was next to her.</p><p>Lisa's bed was small but it was exactly what Chaeyoung loved because it meant she was even closer to Lisa. They both lay on the bed, their hands touching each other gently as the moon peeped out of the window to leave a soft silvery light on them.</p><p>"Do you like to dance?" Lisa promptly said, earning a laugh from the blonde.</p><p>"I'm not good at it."</p><p>"Is it because of what people say that those who sing can't dance and vice versa?"</p><p>"It's more because I've never really done it."</p><p>"Wait," Lisa finished saying and immediately stood up, walked over to what looked like an old radio on a shelf in her room. She played a song, the first one that came out but it was perfect, it was a soft and sweet melody, it reminded her of the dessert they had eaten earlier. "Will you dance with me?"</p><p>Her cheeks became red and warm, not only because of the unexpected proposal but also because of that insecurity growing in her stomach of looking a little silly in front of Lisa. It was dumb to think that way because Lisa had already tried to play guitar and even if she made a thousand mistakes, she never said no. So leaving the shame and doubts behind, she said yes. She held her hand tightly and Lisa pulled Chaeyoung towards her. Both of them facing each other while Lisa whispered in her ear to follow in her steps. It wasn't difficult, maybe Lisa made it look less difficult than it was, but Chaeyoung was still enjoying it. Lisa's hands held her hip and she put hers around the back of Lisa's neck and looked up. Those big eyes were shining at her, shining for her and no one else at this moment. </p><p>The butterflies came back and flew all over her stomach because Lisa was so close, and Chaeyoung knew this could end badly, so badly that Chaeyoung all could do was wait. Feeling Lisa close to her was the closest thing to living a normal life, but remembering that at any moment she would slip through her fingers simply caused her to understand that her life would never be normal if she kept waiting for someone else to change it for her. </p><p>She was sure of two things: she wanted to be a musician and she wanted Lisa. </p><p>"I..."</p><p>"I know," Lisa interrupted her before Chaeyoung could say anything.</p><p>"What are you supposed to know?" They both stopped dancing, a dance that was more about simply moving from side to side with the music, but still their positions remained exactly the same.</p><p>"I want to kiss you too right now."</p><p>A silence accompanied them, one in which Chaeyoung's silly smile took over her lips until she said, "Do it."</p><p>"I can't because we said so and it will be forced," another pout on Lisa's lips and Chaeyoung would go crazy because seriously, how could she look so cute all the time. "Close your eyes and I'll kiss you at an unexpected time."</p><p>"But you'll last long enough to surprise me and I want it now," Chaeyoung said before closing her eyes.</p><p>"Of course not."</p><p>"Of cours..."</p><p>Her lips couldn't utter the following words because strawberry-flavored lips were placed on hers so softly that Chaeyoung felt she was going to melt right there. Once again all those butterflies came out and it felt like freedom. Her hands caressed the back of Lisa's neck with affection while Lisa's hands had risen to her cheeks, gently cupping them. It was an intoxicating quick kiss, one of those kisses that take your breath away because you want more. Chaeyoung could become addicted if Lisa didn't break away from her quickly. The music was still playing in the background, Betty was on one corner of Lisa's room and Chaeyoung felt alive. </p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>After a heavy class in Principles of Law, Chaeyoung was finally free for the whole afternoon, part of her was eager to run over to Lisa's like the last few days but today she had other plans. She had been working on a project beyond just performing the couple of songs she had in those bars, now she wanted to concentrate on finishing some notes and lyrics she had in mind for some next songs and finally release something bigger. Her stomach turned just thinking about it, having something of her own with her own effort to show the world, and although neither her face nor her real name will be shown for now, her satisfaction remained the same. </p><p>During some breaks in class or while waiting for Lisa to finish her shift at the restaurant, she had been working on it. Some nights she would stay up until morning and other nights she would fall down in exhaustion. Besides those nights when she sometimes went out to give a little bit of herself and her songs to those who were willing to listen to her. Now it was time to build something new, to get to the next level because being heard is achieved simply if people come to connect with your message.</p><p>Locked up in her room with loud music and just herself to connect all that she wanted to show, all that she had stuck in her chest asking to get out. Checking her phone from time to time just to find a message from Lisa with an emoji heart or leaving her room just to pour herself some coffee. Betty may have been old, but she still had that touch that made her strings connect perfectly with Chaeyoung's fingers and melody could be created after so much time trying. Night began to fall, her fingers hurt and her throat asked for more water. The balcony let in that moonlight and Chaeyoung saw the clock, it was past midnight but she still couldn't finish here.</p><p>Chaeyoung couldn't stop trying.</p><p>The next day arrived and Chaeyoung was feeling tired and exhausted but still at eight o'clock at night she was walking down the stairs of her house in silence taking care that no one heard her.</p><p>"Where are we going?" A male voice was heard on her right.</p><p>"I'm going out for drinks with Jisoo," she lied, knowing that using Jennie's name was risky.</p><p>"Weren't you going to say goodbye or didn't you want us to know?"</p><p>"I just thought you were busy, that's all."</p><p>Her shoes could be heard through the expensive wood on the floor of her house, without turning around or trying to say anything else but it was obvious that her father noticed something about her, besides the fact that she was carrying Betty with her. Chaeyoung left quickly, in a hurry, and didn't realize that just as she closed the door, her father made a call.</p><p>The atmosphere in the Green &amp; Blue bar was down at first, but just before Chaeyoung performed it started to fire up just enough for that adrenaline to run through her body once more. As she always did when she was on stage, when the lights fall on her and the looks were sharp. She sang, sang a couple of songs and it seemed that people loved it because everybody was moving their head along, humming or just having a silly smile on their lips, like the one Chaeyoung knew so well when something was about Lisa. </p><p>It was in the last chorus of her song <em>Continuous Winter</em> when Betty fell to the ground on stage, the audience was frozen, her hands were shaking while her gaze was focused on only one person.</p><p>"What is she doing here..." she muttered to herself as Jennie's eyes found her.</p><p>It was as if the world stopped the second her eyes and those of her best friend collided. She had always expected to tell Jennie at some point about this, about her love for music and how she had been trying in secret for a while. She knew that Jennie would probably be a little upset for the lie, but then she would forget about it because that was her best friend. She never thought Jennie would find out before that, before Chaeyoung was ready. </p><p>When Chaeyoung's senses returned to her, it was too late to do anything. Jennie had returned through the same door she came in and Chaeyoung immediately picked up her guitar and stepped off the stage to the back door because she wasn't ready to confront Jennie right now. They probably won't let her sing there again after that, but she still just wanted to run away.</p><p>Her hands were shaking, and for a moment she felt like that first time she stepped on a big stage when she met Lisa and threw up her remaining nervousness, she felt just as dizzy and overwhelmed only this time it wasn't from adrenaline, it was from fear.</p><p>She took her phone in her trembling hands, dialed the number and waited for a response.</p><p>"A-are you free?"</p><p>"Rosé? Are you okay?"</p><p>"Can I come to your house?"</p><p>She took a cab, the first one to stop her in the middle of the streets in Seoul. With Betty by her side and tears streaming down her cheeks, Chaeyoung watched the red and white lights of the city through the window of that cab. She didn't want to exaggerate, but she had known since before that once someone knew about it, a bomb would go off that she had been trying to prevent all this time.</p><p>There was Lisa, her big eyes now looking a little worried, waiting for her with an umbrella in front of her house. She took Chaeyoung by the arm once outside the cab and covered her with the umbrella, bringing her close to her. She said nothing, not even a hello, Chaeyoung thanked her silently because if she spoke a word, a wave of tears would return and it had taken her long enough to dry her tears in the cab.</p><p>There were no words, no questions and no answers, just Chaeyoung wrapped in a blanket in Lisa's arms. For minutes, and even hours. Chaeyoung was afraid to leave Lisa's arms, to have to say goodbye to Betty, to say goodbye to this new life she had begun to know and was so delighted about. She didn't want to go back to being what she was before, before deciding to pursue her passion for music and express what she always intended, before going out at night trying to pursue a dream for herself, before meeting Lisa.</p><p>"I'm sorry," Chaeyoung said.</p><p>"I'm sorry, too."</p><p>"You for what?" Her eyes finally saw Lisa without fear, at least not that much.</p><p>"For whatever is happening to you. I have to admit that I assumed something was going on because you always avoid anything that's about yourself, you know?"</p><p> "It's just a silly fight with my best friend and I... I wanted to see you."</p><p>It was true, she wanted to see her and she wanted to be with her but she also knew that more than that she wanted to feel safe, she wanted to feel herself. She had to be brave and face everything that was coming, she knew that but she wanted to take one more day, one more night where everything seemed fine and her life was still intact from a few hours ago when her best friend saw her singing in a cheap bar in Seoul.</p><p>"Can I stay with you today?"</p><p>"You can always stay with me," Lisa responded, taking Chaeyoung's hand and squeezing it hard as if she knew this could be the beginning of their end.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>The night was long, Lisa fell asleep at midnight on her chest but Chaeyoung couldn't sleep no matter how hard she tried. She read a book about dreams that Lisa had on the nightstand, checked her phone and found no sign of Jennie and looked out the window for a while but nothing seemed to be enough for her to sleep. She took out her notebook, took a pencil from Lisa and wrote right there, with Lisa on her chest. The pencil felt heavier, her chest felt lighter and a tear fell on the sheet.</p><p>When her eyes finally closed it was too late as the sun was rising and the girl in her arms was waking up. Lisa's warmth was still one of her favorite things, and she really didn't want to let her out of the sheets but she knew that Lisa had a shift in a few hours and she liked to make breakfast every time Chaeyoung stayed. </p><p>"Wait, what smells so good?" said Chaeyoung untangling herself from the blankets, not realizing how long it had been since Lisa had left her bed.</p><p>"Maybe I made you a breakfast that, as my mom used to say, will cheer anyone up. Plus of course your strong coffee that can't be missed."</p><p>"You're an angel, Lisa, I don't know how to repay you for everything you do for me," she said, so serious that tears threatened to come to her eyes.</p><p>"I do know a way." Chaeyoung switched her sorry face for one more curious about the Thai woman's words. "Here," said the younger one, pointing with her index finger to her cheek and stretching her lips to indicate a kiss.</p><p>Chaeyoung smiled, then laughed at how adorable Lisa was and then approached her, grabbing her by the jaw and surprising her with a kiss right on her lips. It felt as domestic as the first day she got into Lisa's car, as the first day she held her hand and as the first time she kept her close in her sleep. Chaeyoung couldn't help but feel pleased about this simple, natural, domestic thing, as if it was the right thing to do. Not with Joy or anyone else had she ever felt like herself, never had she been able to sing with so much love in front of someone else, show each other music and even teach her to play guitar. Everything was so Lisa and Chaeyoung.</p><p>"Rosé, are you gonna eat or you gonna keep squeezing my cheeks all day?"</p><p>"Maybe I'll eat my breakfast and then eat you," she said with a playful look, and all Lisa did was blush.</p><p>The few hours Lisa still had free were spent like this, in conversation and smiles, kisses and caresses from two people who were sure they liked each other. The midday light came through the window and Chaeyoung was picking up her stuff to call the chauffeur and take her back to that tower where she was being held, not literally. </p><p>"You really have to go? There's no chance I'll get off shift and come see you?"</p><p>"I'd love to, but I have class tomorrow and they're probably going to kill me for sleeping over again," she said, worried more about Jennie than any of her parents.</p><p>"So I'm going to drop you off before my shift?"</p><p>"It's okay, I'll call the chauffeur."</p><p>"Not everyone can get a chauffeur, you know? Who's your dad, the president?" Lisa broke into laughter and Chaeyoung tried to imitate a smile as much as she could, because even though her father wasn't the president, he had a lot of power in his hands. </p><p>The walk home was long, looking out the window as if trying to entertain whatever might appear in her sight. She knew something was going to happen, she didn't know what and she didn't even know how but only a fool didn't anticipate it. She couldn't help but smile a little as she remembered Lisa's words yesterday, as she assured her that she could stay with her always. A pressure grew in her chest, a pressure that she didn't know how good or bad it was, but it was impossible to ignore. She sighed as the car entered the residential complex, heading for her house, that pressure became tense and Chaeyoung didn't want to be there.</p><p>After thanking the chauffeur for picking her up and sighing once more, she finally stepped on the hardwood floor once more. Her steps were silent, she prayed that her parents would not be home and she could go to her room before she had to see anyone else. Her plans didn't succeed as once she entered the living room, the first thing she saw was a couple of suitcases on the floor and her two parents sitting next to these.</p><p>"Where will you go?" was the first thing that occurred to her to ask, her gaze fixed on her mother first, then on her father and finally on that purple suitcase she knew so well, along with the other one she used to use when she went for a trip with her family.</p><p>"You, you're leaving."</p><p>In disbelief, Chaeyoung let out a dry laugh. "Where am I supposed to go?"</p><p>"Jennie told us, Chaeyoung," her mother said, seeming embarrassed to just say it as if her daughter were a total failure. "You've been sneaking around behind our backs singing with your guitar, do you think we'd be proud once we knew? Do you think I would be proud to see you with that guitar like a bum on the street? We're not the kind of people who beg on the streets, we get what we want when we want it."</p><p>"Are you listening to yourself? You sound like my father," said the girl with disgust.</p><p>"Chaeyoung, we made a promise, didn't we?" Now her father said. "You had your music lessons and were supposed to be a lawyer but it seems the lady has other plans under the table, huh?"</p><p>"I don't understand what's wrong with me being a musician, I'm taking the law class even though I hate it, so what? I'm not hurting anyone, am I?" she said, her eyes now burning and anger rising from her chest.</p><p>"How are you going to be a musician singing in those cheap bars in town? What if a family friend sees you? A business partner of your dad's?"</p><p>"Besides, who knows who this Lisa might be, but I hope that now that you're leaving it's clear that you won't be with anyone who's not good for our business," her father's voice sounded louder, louder in Chaeyoung's ears and she wanted to run but could do nothing more than just tighten her jaw. "You're going to Australia on a flight tonight, so get ready and don't even think about taking that guitar with you."</p><p>"I'm not going," she interrupted. "I'm not going anywhere because I didn't do anything wrong!"</p><p>"If you stay here, you're going to ruin your future and the family's future because of your stupidity," his father said with that authoritarian tone that Chaeyoung hated so much. "You'll leave simply because I want you to."</p><p>Her legs felt weak all of a sudden, a part of her didn't process if this was really happening or she was just dreaming asleep in Lisa's bed still, but it couldn't be because she felt cold and lonely, with Lisa it never felt that way. She had to do something, at least to be able to say goodbye to Lisa because she knew there was no way to stop the inevitable and sooner or later she would have a new life in Australia, a life just as lonely and cold because there was no way her parents would give her the same freedom as now and she would probably be monitored all the time, still, that was better than nothing.</p><p>"This weekend," pronounces the blonde girl, voice defeated. "Give me until this weekend to leave and I will not try or do anything to stop it."</p><p>"Who do you think you are to make demands?"</p><p>"All right," interrupted her mother, making her husband look confused. "This weekend is the time limit, but you must meet my conditions."</p><p>She only had a couple of days to finish doing whatever she had to do in Seoul. The first thing she did was go to the college, she talked to that professor who once made her see how good she was at law but how much she didn't seem interested. They didn't talk much, Chaeyoung just told her that he was right and should leave the college, not before giving her a letter with a favor to ask. Then she walked over to Irene's house, hugged her tightly and told her she was leaving the country for a while. Both girls shed a couple of tears, even though Chaeyoung tried to be as strong as possible, leaving one of her best friends always hurt, no matter how long it was, Chaeyoung couldn't help but miss Irene right away.</p><p>Her next stop was Jisoo, even though she couldn't go to her house because of the distance, Chaeyoung decided to call her. Jisoo seemed surprised, so most likely she didn't know anything. Chaeyoung allowed other tears to fall when she heard the voice of one of her best friends, the one that always made her laugh even on dark days. </p><p>Her feet stopped right in front of Jennie's house, her penultimate stop. She wanted to knock on the door, or even enter as normally as she always did without even waiting for Jennie to answer. She didn't care if Jennie was the one who told her parents because in the end, it was her fault for lying in the first place. For wanting to live a false life, one she couldn't have but still tried. She came close, she really was only inches away from that door but she didn't, she didn't knock. She wasn't able to look into Jennie's eyes and know that it would be the last time until who knows how long, she couldn't lose her and preferred not to even think about it. </p><p>Her last stop was that bar, the one where she first performed and felt like she was on top of the world. Not only did she meet Lisa there, but she also realized that that was what she wanted, that was what she was willing to fight for. She walked around the place, looked at the stage and couldn't help but smile, she really loved playing on that small stage with a second-rate microphone and lights that dazzle all of you. She never really cared about that, she only cared that people could listen to her, that people felt represented in lyrics and melodies that nobody could shut up. The place was always small, warm and brightly colored, but Chaeyoung always felt comfortable there, she felt herself. Chaeyoung always felt like Rosé. </p><p>Walking through the streets of Seoul, with a scarf and a jacket on, Chaeyoung walked home. Silence ruled every place in her house, so she quietly walked back to her room. She took a hot shower in her bathtub and then went outside to put on a robe. With her wet hair she went out to the balcony, looked at the lights and stars, the silver moon and that tower that could always be seen from the other side of the city. It lasted there for quite a while, maybe more than an hour because she was never going to get tired of that view. She was never going to get tired of appreciating that which one night convinced her to go out with Betty in hand to get to know something more than the walls of her house, to get to know the world through music.</p><p>She took her phone and pressed that button that once took her so long to do, "Were you awake?</p><p>"Yeah, I was checking the restaurant inventory, is something wrong?" Lisa's voice was peace and calm, it was like listening to a tune she would never get tired of and Chaeyoung didn't want to stop listening to it soon, not ever.</p><p>"I want... I want to have a date with you tomorrow."</p><p>"Huh? Why do you sound sad? Did something happen?"</p><p>Lisa always knew how to read her, she always knew how to decipher her from day one, "No, I just miss you. Take me to one of those hidden places in Seoul that only you know in your old car," she said with a silly smile that soon it felt like pain because she knew what all of this meant. "Let's just be you, Betty and I."</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>The wind was blowing out the window once again, Lisa in the driver's seat while Chaeyoung was busy looking for a radio station. It seemed that they were close to getting to wherever Lisa had brought her. When she finally decided on a song, the car was about to stop because they had reached their destination. Chaeyoung's mouth imitated an "o" when her eyes looked up at that big tower, it had lights around it and apparently a big lookout point on top of it. Chaeyoung immediately got out of the car, amazed at the great tower and how beautiful it looked at night.</p><p>"Can we go in there?" she asked curiously, looking at how Lisa's eyes had that glow too.</p><p>"I don't know if it's allowed, but I went in a few months ago at just about this hour."</p><p>"Wait, what? You broke in?"</p><p>"Don't call it that way! Just, come," said Lisa taking Chaeyoung by the hand. </p><p>They both walked up to that tower, the path was surrounded by grass and the moonlight was the only thing that lit the way. According to Lisa, there was a small tunnel right behind the tower. When she came months ago, she dared to enter because it looked like an abandoned place. Chaeyoung didn't blame her, anyone would want to go up there and so she followed her.</p><p>"We're about to get there, you didn't leave anything in the car, did you?"</p><p>"No, I brought everything," she confirmed with her backpack and Betty on her left shoulder.</p><p>"Perfect because after this point I don't think you want to go downstairs anymore."</p><p>"Huh?" Chaeyoung didn't really understand until her eyes met the sight of all of Seoul in front of her. "No <em>fucking</em> way."</p><p>Lisa didn't know it, probably nobody did, but that tower was exactly what Chaeyoung used to see from her balcony. There were others of course, it wasn't the first tower in all of Seoul but she could recognize it because it was the one that lit up all those street lights in the background. Her throat suddenly felt dry and her stomach empty because it was so beautiful, Lisa was, but she knew this was simply an premature goodbye to one of the things she had loved most.</p><p>Saying that she loved Lisa didn't sound real, as she didn't really know if it felt like love because with Joy it never did and with her parents the way to love went hand in hand with family names and business, but she did know that she loved that moment, that day, and the days before when it was just the two of them.</p><p>"And I brought this," said Lisa, taking out a blanket, a wine and some snacks from the restaurant.</p><p>"I've told you this a thousand times, but you really are an angel."</p><p>They sat there, the view being the only thing among them and so it was perfect. Silence accompanied them but it was such a welcoming silence that Chaeyoung didn't mind staying that way her whole life. With the snacks already eaten and the bottle of wine less than half full, both simply lay there, staring at the starry sky.</p><p>"How did you find out about this place?"</p><p>"When I arrived in Korea I had no friends, I still don't have many more than the guys at the restaurant. So I used to visit places that according to google were great but not very well known," confessed Lisa, her look in the stars.</p><p>"You have a very adventurous spirit, I would never dare, although..." There was a lump in her throat because it was the first time she had ever said this out loud. "I-I would like one day to leave here and travel anywhere, just to feel free no matter where, you know?"</p><p>"We can do that."</p><p>"You think so?"</p><p>"Sure, not today probably not tomorrow but someday," Lisa stopped looking at the stars and set her sights on the blonde girl next to her. "Actually, that day I met you at the bar wasn't just because I passed by. I was looking for live music places and when I found that place and saw the flyer, I read your name. I didn't know who Rosé was but it sounded interesting to me, it was a shame that before you showed up I got a call from my dad and I couldn't see you perform but... but when you walked out that back door... I didn't know if you were Rosé but you certainly looked like a Rosé".</p><p>Those words felt as if Lisa said them knowing everything, as if she understood the meaning that Rosé had for her, that part of her that was risky and fearless, that fought despite knowing that everything would one day fall apart, just as it was about to. Rosé was her, there was no doubt about it, but she was a free one and Lisa could see it before anyone else.</p><p>There were no more words, there was nothing Chaeyoung could do but plant a strong kiss on the lips of the girl in front of her. A kiss with many feelings, emotions and words to say were nothing compared to this.</p><p>"I brought you something," Chaeyoung said, opening the zipper of her backpack to take in her hands what she knew Lisa would love and bought for her only. "Here."</p><p>"Rosé!" a loud scream made Chaeyoung suddenly jump from the fright that ended in laughter between the two girls and Lisa hugging her around the waist like a little girl.  "You really bought this for me? Is it for me?"</p><p>"On our first date at that record store, I saw how much you loved that vinyl album and you told me it had meaning with your mother I... I think you deserve to have it on your shelf and play it before bed."</p><p>Lisa's eyes were glowing, just like they did the first day they met, and Chaeyoung wanted to cry right there because she was going to miss it so much. She was going to miss everything about Lisa but she couldn't do anything but give her that album she knew Lisa woud love, and Chaeyoung, she probably loved Lisa. </p><p>The night was like this until almost ten o'clock when there was no more wine and they had shared more than a thousand kisses there. With the radio on and looking closely at the places she looked from that big tower a few minutes ago they both finally arrived in the center of the city. Lisa insisted on leaving Chaeyoung at home but it didn't happen because Chaeyoung wouldn't allow it, especially not now. In the last kiss goodbye, a tear fell which Lisa noticed but didn't ask because she knew Chaeyoung wasn't ready to talk. If Chaeyoung really thought about it, she would never be ready for any of this.</p><p>She didn't expect it, she never thought that once she entered her house, more specifically her room, she would find Jennie there, sitting on her bed just looking at the picture of both of them that Chaeyoung had on her nightstand. </p><p>"You finally got here," spoke Jennie after almost two minutes of just stares.</p><p>"I didn't know you were here."</p><p>"I didn't call you because I didn't know if you really wanted to talk to me, I guess you must hate me now," Jennie's voice sounded broken, her cheeks red and her hands still held that picture. "I'm sorry, Chaeng."</p><p>"Why you... How did you know I was there?"</p><p>"Your father, he told me to follow you," Jennie said as she looked down on the floor, Chaeyoung feeling the fire begin to burn in her chest and not for her best friend but for the one who claimed to be her father. "I... It's my fault, Chaeng. You were acting weird and the day I called you they told me that you stayed somewhere without telling them. I thought maybe something was wrong, you know? When we went out that night you told me the name of a girl so I assumed you were seeing someone so I told your father about Lisa, or well that you said that name and he... he told me that you sneak out some nights," Jennie paused, trying to take a breath. "I was worried about you and then he told me to follow you, I swear if I had known that meant you would go away I never would have done it!"</p><p>Without realizing it, tears began to stream down both of their cheeks, "I should have told you, I should never have lied to you about anything in my life, it's not entirely your fault."</p><p>"I just wanted to know if you were okay or if something was going on, and when I found out it was just music I just laughed at myself for all the things I thought," Jennie confessed, now looking at Chaeyoung once again. "I didn't think it mattered much, of course I don't understand why you would go to a place like that when you could go to thousands of better ones, but at least it wasn't bad, right? So I thought your father would take it well, or at least like me, but last night he called me thanking me for helping him and that you were being sent to Australia."</p><p>Chaeyoung said nothing, just went over and wiped away her best friend's tears. Both stayed like that, Jennie in Chaeyoung's arms for several minutes. Quietly and simply letting everything in between disappear until they were themselves as they had always been. Chaeyoung knew that Jennie would never want to hurt her, but she didn't think there was any connection to her father either, and now she was angry.</p><p>"Will you be leaving tomorrow?" Jennie asked, insecurity in her voice.</p><p>"Yes," her friend confirmed. "But you can stay with me tonight if you want."</p><p>"I would love that."</p><p>It was early morning and Chaeyoung was finally able to sleep, even though she had been having a hard time lately because she missed Lisa's warmth, today she had someone else by her side who wouldn't let her go for anything in the world.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>She had never had a great relationship with her parents, mainly because she was born so full of love and affection and they simply filled her with empty gifts to entertain her while doing whatever they did on the day. She even remembered how at Christmas they would make her go to sleep early so they could go celebrate Christmas with her father's business partners and as a reward they would give her a double gift. Did they really never realize that those gifts were nothing compared to a big hug and a kiss on the forehead accompanied by a <em>Merry Christmas</em>? All those thoughts and unanswered questions came to her mind when she finally got into the back seat of her father's car, on her way to the airport.</p><p>The weather was cool and the sky was clear and so blue that Chaeyoung smiled even though her chest hurt as much as it hurt to hold back the tears she kept as if it was illegal to shed a couple of tears in front of her parents. She preferred it that way, she preferred simply to leave quietly without having to make a big deal out of it because it was worthless now. Arriving at the airport parking lot, Chaeyoung felt that pain in her chest was now in her stomach as well and wanted to run away. Her legs wanted to run away but her father put his hand on her shoulder and Chaeyoung nodded. There was no escape or way out but to face the uncertain fate that awaited her on that plane.</p><p>"Don't forget to do what I told you," whispered her mother in her ear.</p><p>"Now?"</p><p>"Now."</p><p>This was even more difficult because she expected to do it alone, at some stop on the plane or as soon as she arrived in Australia but she didn't think her mother would really put her up to it now, there right in front of them. She couldn't say no because it was the condition her mother gave her to stay a few more days, and those days were valuable to her. So there was nothing to do but be obedient, and do it.</p><p>She took her phone and hit the call button. She waited for the second ring until that now-familiar voice answered with a hint of joy that Chaeyoung thought she couldn't make it. Her mother looked at her and her father seemed impatient, but Chaeyoung had no choice but to do it anyway.</p><p>"Lisa," Chaeyoung started. "I have something important to tell you."</p><p>"Did something happen?"</p><p>The words couldn't get out of her throat or her lips as she suddenly lost the ability to speak, her mother looked at her more and more sharply, and when she tried to snatch Chaeyoung's phone from her hands, she could finally speak. "I called myself Rosé because I had no other choice, even though I always thought I was more Rosé than I am Chaeyoung. I-I have a dream, Lisa. I want to be a musician but I can't, not now and not ever."</p><p>The words echoed in her head once she let them out of her lips, it hurt and it burned but she couldn't stop, not when she finally said it.</p><p>"What are you talking about? Why don't we meet and talk about it?"</p><p>"That's the problem, Lisa. The problem is that I'm less than a hundred meters from entering the airport and going to Australia to have a new life."</p><p>"What? Rosé, wait for me there, I'll be there in fifteen minutes, okay?"</p><p>"No," she said. "Remember when you asked me if my father was the president? Well, he's not but he would never let me be with someone like you, so free and without limits, he would never let me be a musician and he would probably never let me be me if I stayed here. Do you understand now?"</p><p>Lisa's sobs on the other line made Chaeyoung aware that Lisa had indeed understood. There was no way to continue in that life of lies and secrets, there was no future for Chaeyoung here as much as they both wanted it to be. "I love you, Lisa. I'm sorry I didn't tell you this sooner."</p><p>"Will you come someday? Will you dare to kiss me in front of all of them?"</p><p>"Not for now, Lisa."</p><p>The call hung up, the tears fell and a plane was waiting for her.</p><p>Hours passed when Chaeyoung finally woke up. She had cried herself to sleep in the plane seat, but the good thing was that she was alone, or else she would probably have been taken out of there. Maybe that was better than going to Australia. Still, when her feet touched the Australian ground, she felt a relief in her chest as if that which she feared so much finally happened, and although it still hurt to leave everything she loved there, she had a card up her sleeve.</p><p>While looking for the person her dad hired to give her a tour on her first day and take her to her new house, she noticed from afar a large building with a giant guitar as its logo.</p><p>"What is that place?"</p><p>"Probably something about music, or so they say is not relevant. But now the important thing, are you ready to know the city of Melbourne?"</p><p>Chaeyoung tried to pay attention and follow everything the guy was saying but it was getting harder and harder either because she ended up getting distracted by her own thoughts and how much she missed Lisa, even in a totally different country everything reminded her of her, or because she got lost with the first thing she saw on the way. Besides, the guy seemed to like flirting and a little bit cocky, totally off of what Chaeyoung wanted right now.</p><p>The day was forever, they ate in a restaurant and that was the only moment in the day when she felt truly satisfied because the rest was that guy irritating her. Food was one of her favorite things, even on gray days like today. When the car finally arrived for them because apparently that guy was going to show her the house, Chaeyoung couldn't help but get a little nervous. The house was more like an apartment, furnished with the basics and necessary just for her. A large kitchen, a cozy room and a small backyard for the garden. She couldn't help but feel sad when she saw that there was no balcony in her room, but rather a large window and the view was not as bright as Seoul's, but at least she had Betty to make the nights less tragic.</p><p>"I think that's it for today, right? Wouldn't you like to have a glass of wine with me sometime?"</p><p>"Right now I'm too busy fixing my life and if your intention is something else, I like someone already. Oh, and I like women by the way," she said blatantly, really not caring about those guys who look for any occasion to try something with someone they don't even know. "But thanks for the offer, and for today."</p><p>"Okay," said the blond guy, walking out the front door and leaving nothing but silence in the apartment. </p><p>The nights were the hardest part, not having Lisa's warmth or the balcony to at least get inspired when the sleep seemed never to come. She thought about Lisa all the time, and even though sometimes she really wanted to call her, she knew that it was best not to do so and just move forward as much as possible. Besides, she had already deleted the number by order of her mother. With Betty in her hands, Chaeyoung sang herself to sleep, sang for her, for Lisa, for everyone who wanted to hear her in that lonely apartment. She sang because she loved someone, she sang because she had dreams and she sang because singing was the only thing that always kept her alive.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>In two days of being there, she was already supposed to start classes because her father enrolled her in a private university to continue her career. She couldn't help but feel annoyed to return to that part of her life she never felt comfortable with, but she had to do it for now. That same day in the afternoon, Chaeyoung went into that building with the giant guitar, entering it nervously but as soon as she heard music in the place she relaxed enough. </p><p>"What is this place all about?" she asked once she entered the place, her eyes appreciating every part of it.</p><p>"We are basically unemployed musicians who have set up a place to sell instruments," the boy answered shamelessly.</p><p>"Musicians," Chaeyoung mumbled, looking around the place.</p><p>"Do you play the guitar?" the boy asked now, looking at Betty on her shoulders.</p><p>"Yes, sort of."</p><p>"Why don't you play it now?"</p><p>The proposal was interesting, the boy seemed nice and Chaeyoung really wanted to do everything she could never do there in Seoul, at least what she could before she returned. So she took Betty out of her case, sat down on one of the chairs that was free in the store and played a piece of a song she used to listen to as a child. It felt good to finally play in front of someone else, to have someone else listening to her.</p><p>"John, come listen to this girl," the boy suddenly said, making Chaeyoung feel confused. "Play it again."</p><p>She did, she played Betty again, calmly and harmoniously. Her lips alone began humming a tune that ended in a song she was working on. She sang it right there because just once with Betty in her hands, she would let herself go. She got carried away and sang an entire song and when she finally opened her eyes several pairs of eyes were looking at her.</p><p>"You're pretty good, you sure you're not a singer?"</p><p>"What? No!" Chaeyoung said in surprise, even a little embarrassed by the attention of such strangers, but she really felt better than yesterday and the last few days. " Just, it's my dream."</p><p>"Well, whatever it is you should call this number, they can help you," said the boy giving her a card with a name on it and Chaeyoung took it without saying more.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>A week passed in which she did nothing but study, sing, cry and miss Lisa. She hadn't dared to call that number because she felt that alone there she might not be able to accomplish anything she set out to do, and even though she already had the next thing planned, she felt more insecure every day. It was normal, she assumed, to feel alone in facing the loneliness and emptiness of a life that wasn't what she wanted with people who weren't who she wanted to be with.</p><p>She was about to call Jennie that night to tell her how much she missed Lisa and ask her to go over to her house to see if she was okay, but that would be too risky if she really wanted to follow things in the right order. Every night she would leave the window open, looking at the stars and thinking that maybe, just maybe, Lisa was seeing them too.</p><p>"Tonight it's just you and me, Betty," she muttered to herself before falling asleep.</p><p>Another week went by, in this one she was already determined to call the number that guy gave her weeks ago. She had been writing more poems than music lately, perhaps because her greatest inspiration, those bright eyes, were not there and that didn't help her much. Even so, there were days when she felt a little inspired and managed to continue with what she was passionate about on her lonelier nights.</p><p>"Hello?"</p><p>"Who's this?"</p><p>"Rosé, that's my name," she said with some nervousness before taking a deep breath. "I got your number from a guy that I don't really know after I sang in front of him and I was wondering if..."</p><p>"Rosé, huh? If someone gave you my number because they heard you sing, I don't need to know more," the woman's voice was somewhat serious, intimidating, Chaeyoung would say. "I'll save your number, I'll send you an address and I'll meet you there on Thursday at five o'clock in the afternoon, bring your guitar or whatever you use."</p><p>The call ended. That quick conversation was enough for an anxiety to start growing in her chest. She didn't really understand who that woman was or why it was so mysterious, but she just wanted someone to hear her sing and if that woman would do it, that was enough to take a chance.</p><p>College was a torture each day since it was really hard for her to pay attention as if her thoughts were still there, in that tower next to Lisa. She wondered what Lisa did that morning when she called her last, what she did with the vinyl album or what she told her dad about why Chaeyoung didn't come back anymore. It was all doubts that she couldn't answer even if she wished upon a star, but she wanted to assume that everything was okay.</p><p>On Thursday Chaeyoung made herself a breakfast similar to the ones Lisa used to make when she woke up at home, too bad she never got to see her do it because it definitely didn't taste as good. All afternoon she did nothing but practice. She didn't want to perform poorly in front of someone, no matter who it was. She practiced until the clock struck the time she should start getting ready because missing the appointment was not an option. She dressed up elegantly but not exaggeratedly, just enough to look good, it was as if somehow she had an idea of how that woman was going to be and for some reason found her extremely intimidating and powerful.</p><p>She didn't call a driver, but found her own way to get to what appeared to be a very distinctively decorated office. Just by saying her name she was let in, the first thing she saw was a gray, furry dog running around the place which made her laugh out loud. The place was surrounded by different colors on all the walls, instruments in some parts and artwork hanging on them. It was an unfamiliar environment for her, but she couldn't help but feel increasingly intrigued. The hallway was somewhat long and when she finally found the end there was a closed door. The anxiety and doubt grew about whether she should knock or wait, and just when she decided to knock, the door opened.</p><p>"Rosé, I was waiting for you," said the woman with the big eyes and wise smile.</p><p>A month had passed since she arrived in Australia, everything was almost the same. She still missed everything about Lisa, her hands when she held her, her warmth when she slept, her funny laugh and how she was always there, without even planning it she always came back to Chaeyoung, only this time she didn't. Aside from that, Chaeyoung was doing moderately well, college was annoying as always but there was something new, there was something that gave her that almost lost hope. </p><p>Taeyeon was an ex-idol in Korea who got tired of having to follow contracts and orders from a company, so she created hers for good singers no matter where they came from or what they wanted to be after that. Rosé was only there a few weeks before, in front of her with nervousness, almost shaking from the girl's serious attitude. Not long after, once Chaeyoung performed, the girl immediately smiled and told her of her interest in her as a singer. Now it was Chaeyoung who had to think wisely, whether to continue fighting alone or use some of Taeyeon's help to fulfill her dream of being a musician.</p><p>It was about to be two months since she was there, and she had already started vocal and production classes at Taeyeon's. Lately she felt more like a friend than the owner of the place where Chaeyoung was developing to flourish. She had started writing letters to Lisa that she never ended up sending, her chest hurt from how much she wanted to tell her everything that was happening but for now it was impossible. Still, she kept seeing that photo she printed of the last time Lisa, her father and she cooked, and took it as an inspiration to get up every morning.</p><p>"That's why I asked you to buy a new notebook, even though you love the one you used to write in, it's time to let it go," Taeyeon said as the two were in the studio specifically for songwriting class. "You can leave that one to write whatever you want out of your personal music from now on."</p><p>Chaeyoung always had a hard time getting rid of the things she loved and even more so that book that accompanied her throughout her adventure in home escapes and nightly performances. Still, Taeyeon was right, if she wanted to start learning, she had to make some changes. One thing didn't change, and that was that every night she always ended up writing about the same person, the bright-eyed girl.</p><p>The third month Chaeyoung considered it as one of the hardest. Not only did she have to go to class and do her college assignments and exams (because if she dropped out her parents would love her even less), but she also spent every night in the studio with Taeyeon alone. The two of them worked in the studio for hours, even late at night, until they ended up sleeping there and buying breakfast together the next day. It was exhausting, and sometimes it seemed like there would be no progress from it, but once again she remembered the smell of flowers in Lisa's old car and how much she wanted to go back there, everything seemed easier all of a sudden. </p><p>It seemed impossible to believe that almost six months had passed since the last time she saw her three best friends, the last time she spoke to her parents or the last kiss she gave Lisa. In this moment she was close to releasing her first album, even though her effort was maximum, it didn't take her long because the knowledge she had from before and the inspiration she got in the fortunate moments was enough. Taeyeon never appropriated anything they worked on, she called it almost a solo project, although she did have some influence on it. Every song, every piece written was by Chaeyoung and no one else, Taeyeon was only what helped her grow.</p><p>With only a month to go before her album was released, Chaeyoung was too busy editing the album cover. It wasn't going to be anything to do with her, her face or her name. It was going to be more of an anonymous thing and simply for the enjoyment of whoever wanted to listen to it.</p><p>"Why don't we delay the release of the album? We might have more time to release the cover," Taeyeon said with a pen between her lips.</p><p>"I can't wait any longer, I have something to do far away from here, remember?"</p><p>"I know, so we have to think," both girls looked at each other suddenly, as if they wanted to connect their brains with looks. "Tell me, what makes you feel identified?"</p><p>Chaeyoung thought of everything. Her interests as a child, her guitar that she loved, and all the things that once happened in her life. She seemed to find nothing, everything was too fantastic or silly to make it her first piece of art. And when she was almost sure that it was better to delay the album, in the back of her mind she remembered Lisa's words that night before they said goodbye in person for the last time. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I didn't know if you were Rosé but you certainly looked like a Rosé.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"A rose," Chaeyoung pronounced, with a confident tone and some emotion in her eyes. "I want a rose to be my first album."</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>It was a strange feeling like when you searched so long for that missing piece of the puzzle that when you found it you still didn't feel like you really completed the puzzle. That was more like what Chaeyoung felt when she finally breathed the air of Seoul. Just today it was seven months since she left this place and emotions simply invaded every part of her body. The airport was packed with people and the noise was loud but she couldn't get rid of that silly smile on her face. She had somehow convinced her parents to come visit since she was on vacation from college and they agreed with the excuse that they missed her. Still, Chaeyoung was happy. </p><p>The chauffeur finally arrived for her at the airport and she happily got in, it sounded silly but she missed him too. Her parents had invited her best friends over for dinner as a welcome home for their daughter. Everyone was waiting for her, possibly with balloons and cheesy stuff, Chaeyoung knew her three favorite girls very well. She was ready for that, to see her friends and her parents again, but she also knew that the reason she decided to come here was more than just vacation. Chaeyoung left this place with a crazy but valid plan, and she trusted it as much as she trusted herself now.</p><p>It was a huge thrill when she walked in the door, the three girls she loved so much in front of her plus another one that if she focused her eyes right it seemed that Irene finally cleared things up with Seulgi, Jisoo and Jennie next to them and their parents on the side. Everyone was smiling, as Chaeyoung predicted there were balloons on the floor and a small poster saying "Welcome Home Chaeng", probably Jennie's idea.</p><p>She hugged them with all her strength as she felt her arms could break, greeted her parents and couldn't help but cover her face with her hands to the amazement of actually being there again. It was perhaps a little dramatic, but what wasn't in her life after all that had happened? Even though she loved all that they had for her and the excitement was still growing in her stomach, she excused herself for a few minutes to go to her room and freshen up a bit while dinner was served. </p><p>She knew the actual reason she went up to her room and ran to her night table, the reason she eagerly opened it and took that little crumpled piece of paper in her hands, the one Lisa had given her months before. She couldn't help but smile a little as she looked at her handwriting, she was really going to call her, huh? Straight away, she typed the number into her phone, took a deep breath and looked at her balcony, walked slowly appreciating that view she had missed so much and finally felt ready to press the call button.</p><p>Nervousness, anxiety and doubt suddenly arose, despite knowing that Lisa would never hate her because she was too good for that, she might not want anything from her. It was understandable and Chaeyoung could feel it, but if Lisa was really that good at figuring her out, she would have been able to understand what she said on the last call in front of the airport. Chaeyoung never wanted to leave her behind, she just needed to blossom to return to her.</p><p>"Hello?" Lisa's voice was still the same and Chaeyoung wanted to cry right there. She had missed Lisa so much that having her close to her simply weakened everything about her because she couldn't resist not running to Lisa any longer. Chaeyoung didn't respond, she didn't even say a word because she felt that if she did, she would faint right there. "Is that you, Rosé?"</p><p>A tear fell down her cheek, it was inevitable because Lisa was the part that without her had felt so empty lately and just hearing her fill one of those holes that seemed impossible to fill during the night. "I'm ready."</p><p>The silence explained that maybe Lisa was confused and Chaeyoung just waited for the call to be cut off but instead, Lisa spoke. "Ready for what?"</p><p>"To kiss you in front of everyone."</p><p>"You... You're back here?" Lisa's voice was quieter and could be heard breaking as more words came out of her throat. "You did come back?"</p><p>"Come for me, let's go anywhere far away just the two of us."</p><p>"And Betty?" Lisa always knew how to make her smile, it was so inevitable not to, and Chaeyoung wouldn't forbid herself to do so.</p><p>"She too," Chayeoung responded with a smile that soon faded. "Lisa, I never really wanted to leave, I didn't even know what was going to happen once I got there, but I had to do it to get the chance I have now, and I want to do it with you. I'm so sorry for leaving, for leaving without saying goodbye to you as I should have."</p><p>"I get it, I understand why you did it and I know why you came back. You did it so you could take everything you needed to get ready for this moment, right?"</p><p>"I- I," Chaeyoung didn't know what to say because if something was true, it was that Lisa really understood everything about her, every part of it that wasn't said and it wouldn't surprise her that she knew Chaeyoung was hiding something before. "I love you."</p><p>"I love you too, Chaeyoung," the tears were more, and Lisa sounded like she was crying on the line too, and Chaeyoung just wanted to run to her, but not yet, there were still things to do. "I'll go get you, don't go anywhere until I get there."</p><p>"I'll wait for you always," she said and the call was over. </p><p>After walking down the stairs, Chaeyoung found her best friends sitting at the table with her parents, all talking about silly things like the weather, but Chaeyoung still loved having them around. Apparently her parents talked to Mrs. Chang to prepare her favorite food and Chaeyoung was really excited, she wanted to make the most of the last few moments she had left. Maybe her parents would never understand her, and maybe it wasn't just their fault but how they were raised and the life they had, but still, Chaeyoung loved them and wanted them to be able to see the reality of what life was all about. The reality that life is more than luxuries, family names or business, and although Chaeyoung was grateful for all that they had given her, she hoped that someday things would be different, but she couldn't always wait, she couldn't wait for the unknown.</p><p>When the clock struck six, everyone was in the middle of dinner talking and enjoying the delicious food until the door knocked and Chaeyoung immediately stood up. Her parents suggested that she let the maid open the door, but she ignored them and walked over to her. Her trembling hands finally opened the door showing nothing but those bright eyes and a silly smile that Chaeyoung loved. Both of them hugged, hugged each other for just a few seconds because Chaeyoung needed something important to do now.</p><p>"Are you ready?" asked Lisa with her voice still as if she would cry at any moment.</p><p>"Come with me," Chaeyoung responded, holding the hand of the girl she adored, they walked to the table where they were all eating without knowing anything about what was going to happen next.</p><p>"Who is this?"</p><p>"This is Lisa, Lisa Manoban, Dad. She has been one of the most important people in my life for months now and when I left to Australia I didn't hear from her anymore, but I came back here and now I have her next to me by the hand," she wasn't sure if this was going to turn out the way she thought it would, but it was worth a try, Lisa and the music was worth it all. "I don't want to be with anyone but her, I don't want to be anything but a musician and I'm not going back to Australia. I don't want to study law and I won't finish that degree, I don't want to continue living a life of someone else that is not me."</p><p>"What the hell are you talking about?" Her father got up from the table immediately, her mother and her friends were simply shocked. "Why did you bring her here?"</p><p>"Because I'm going away with her for a while, I don't know where or how, but we'll go wherever we want and come back when we're ready for what's next."</p><p>"Are you really going to waste your life like this? After all we gave you?" Now said her mother, her eyes watering.</p><p>"I love you, in fact I love everyone in this house right now and I will continue to love you guys even when I'm in Lisa's car miles away but I can't stay any longer," she said, holding Lisa's hand tighter to take on enough courage. Her gaze now turned to the four girls in front of her. "I love you guys, I hope to see you soon and I will always call you, I will always come back because we are still the same, I just finally found my path."</p><p>"I'm happy for you," Jennie said, looking at her with so much love that Chaeyoung wanted to cry because this was the bravest thing she had ever done and that her friends would support her meant the world.</p><p>"We are happy for you," corrected Jisoo, Irene and Seulgi with a smile on their faces and tears on their cheeks.</p><p>"No, you can't leave," insisted her father, looking hurt by the way he spoke and how his skin looked somewhat pale.</p><p>"I can and I will, plus I got my new album out a week ago with the help of a wonderful woman, you should buy it though I know you'll love it. Its name is Rosé and I... I'll just keep on being me from now on," that said, Chaeyoung looked at the girl next to her who was holding her hand tightly, grabbed her by the chin and kissed her right there in front of everyone and felt once again like she was alive.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>Music was playing on Lisa's car speakers, Lisa's favorite station on and Chaeyoung simply letting the wind blow through her window. The night was starry, the lights were shining as both girls in one car drove out of town.</p><p>"Are you sure you won't regret this?" Chaeyoung asked, her eyes in the sky above them.</p><p>"Of course not, I told my dad that it was time to finally make time for me and that I would come back when I felt ready, he was happy for me, you know?"</p><p>"I miss your dad," Chaeyoung said and then noticed the narrowed eyes of the girl next to her. "Hey! I missed you too more than anything else in the world."</p><p>"Are you sure you won't regret it too?"</p><p>"I am, this is what I've always dreamed of since I was a little girl. Besides, we don't have to leave forever, we can even come back just to get you started in college the next year."</p><p>"You are right... Wait, how do you know about... Oh, it was you!" Lisa and her bright eyes looked at her in surprise and Chaeyoung just smiled proudly. "You really got me a scholarship?"</p><p>"I asked for a small favor," Chaeyoung confessed and laughed because Lisa looked so cute with that surprised face. "Can you thank me with a kiss maybe... here?" She pointed her index finger to her lips and caused Lisa to burst out laughing.</p><p>"Now that we are confessing things, I have to tell you something," Chaeyoung couldn't help but feel nervous for a second, trying to simply wait for something good because she had already waited so long.  "I bought your album the second day it came out."</p><p>"Wait, what? How did you know about that?"</p><p>"I didn't really know, just that I became a frequent customer at that record store where you took me on our first date. As I walked down the aisle I saw the album and it had your name on it. I didn't know if it was yours, but I bought it anyway because I was sure something good would open up in it," the car lights illuminated the way, Lisa had her eyes on the road but her hand soon found Chaeyoung's. "I didn't know it was yours until I heard your voice, I recognized it and I... I knew you would come back for me."</p><p>"Don't you think I came back too late?"</p><p>"I think you were just in time," Lisa slowed down enough to slowly approach Chaeyoung and plant a small but sweet kiss in that spot she had pointed out earlier. "Wait, that song is?"</p><p>"My song is on the radio!" Chaeyoung screamed, separating her lips from Lisa and turning up the volume to the max. "It's... it's my song."</p><p>"You're a musician now."</p><p>"I always have been, but now I'm free."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p><em>"And this was the debut song by singer Rosé called You, Betty and I,"</em> echoed over the speakers of Lisa's car as the car accelerated to who knows where.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>helloooooo i hope you enjoyed this trip with two of my favorite girls!<br/>any question, detail, suggestion is welcome in the comments! this is my only fic but probably more will come in the future :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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